First, let's define the criteria, if met, that will definitely cause the child to have low self-esteem, he will grow up to be a wimp and will not have his own opinion.
Psychologist Tatyana Vinogradova told how to increase a child’s self-esteem: tips.
1. Criticize whatever the child does. If he draws a picture, then be sure to tell him what needs to be corrected or changed in this picture.
Such criticism discourages any motivation a child has to continue drawing or doing anything else.
2. Suppress. You have an idea of how a child should develop, no matter how old he is, little or big. Perhaps the child does not like going to music school, he protests, conflicts with the teacher, but it is important to you, in your opinion it is right.
3. Decide everything for the child and completely deprive him of independent choice, no matter how old he is: 5 or already 15. Choose what he should wear, who to be friends with, choose for him the interests that he needs.
This completely guarantees that your child will most likely grow up unable to do anything, not knowing his boundaries, his desires, his interests, what he wants from this life in general.
In contrast, we recommend tools that will help foster independence in your child.
1. Praise. No matter what happens, no matter what he draws, praise him for what he did. If at 15 your child made you coffee on Sunday or some dish, even if it is imperfect, praise him.
After all, he doesn't have much experience in this yet, he doesn't know how to do it differently. Notice the desire of children to do well, even silently, they will feel it and will definitely appreciate it. They will appreciate support, that same invisible support that you can always rely on.
2. Listen and hear your child. I agree with the quote: "It is advisable to listen to music and people with your heart." Each person has a special mood or condition.
If we are talking about teenagers, they usually close themselves off, and it is very difficult for us to reach them. If they are small children, they often do not even know what is happening to them, but by listening carefully from the depths of your soul, you can hear what the child is sad about, what he feels.
Every parent is able to understand in the silence of their mind what their child sounds like now. And it is important for them to feel that they are accepted, supported and loved in any state and mood. Because they are important.
3. Cooperation is also very important. That is, instead of deciding for the child from early childhood, learn to cooperate with him; if the child is under seven, you can still somehow minimally explain why he should go here or there, but after the age of seven, you will have to negotiate, learn to explain your position and defend it on equal terms.
Cooperation is only possible from a position of equality, without looking down on a child, putting yourself in the position of a more reasonable adult.
And to understand how he will try to reason, why, for example, he likes some sections and not others.
When a parent is truly close to their child, it means that they don't pressure them or force their opinions on them.
The child knows what he wants and can explain it. Be honest with yourself, and your child will invariably follow life's rules, adequately understand himself, his value, his possibilities, will understand this life and participate in it.
