She reminds you of your father - the same sarcastic smile.
He copies your mother's gestures when he's nervous. Does this seem like a coincidence? In fact, your brain is looking for a partner who will repeat the traumas of your childhood.
It sounds cruel, but that's how the subconscious works: it tries to "replay" old scenarios in order to finally heal. For example, if your father ignored your achievements, you will unconsciously choose a critical partner.
Hope? "This time I will earn his praise." But instead of healing, you get a repetition of pain. It is possible to break this cycle, but to do so you will have to trick your own brain.
Try the "opposites method." Make a list of qualities that irritate you in your partners. For example: "too quiet," "doesn't like to argue," "career-obsessed."
Now, find someone with the exact opposite traits. Yes, it will be uncomfortable at first. His loud laughter will be frightening, her straightforwardness will hurt.
But in a month you will understand: what you considered “ideal” was a shadow of the past. Another life hack: meet people in new places. If you have always looked for love in the gym, go to a cooking master class.
The brain, when in an unfamiliar environment, switches off its patterns and allows you to see people for real.
And remember: healthy relationships often seem “boring” — because there are no toxic roller coasters of emotions. But it is in this silence that true passion is born.
