Children need their parents to devote time to them so that they have a lot of time.
Meanwhile, the world presents parents with many tasks that absorb them completely. In order to provide for the numerous needs of their children, they work more, longer, more efficiently.
In their daily lives, mothers set ever higher standards for themselves.
They want to be ideal housewives, perfect wives, neat women, ideal cooks, wonderful partners.
And it is impossible to be the best in every area because it will come at the expense of the child's time.
Parents who are tired and stressed have a harder time dealing with their child's problematic behavior.
How do you find balance? How do you navigate between your professional and personal life and be an attentive parent, a parent who is emotionally present, who needs the child and wants to feel complete?
Here are six traps high-pressure parents fall into that will help you take the first step toward smarter, happier parenting and a better work-parenting balance.
Expecting all your time together to be one big idyll
This is unrealistic! So if you expect a permanent idyll, you will be bitterly disappointed.
If you set the bar so high for yourself, then every moment spent with your family will feel like a failure.
Giving in to your child just to avoid a conflict situation
Setting boundaries and consistently ensuring that children do not cross them is the foundation of effective parenting.
It is the grease that you use to lubricate the machinery of family life, the primary tool for keeping your children safe and healthy, the way to instill in them the skills they need for life.
Avoiding conflict by making concessions in the long run only leads to more conflict in the future.
Lack of consistency
Consistency greatly accelerates the learning process. Inconsistent responses lead to inconsistent behavior.
The child works best when given clear directions and consistent answers. He/she gets lost when the rules are too flexible.
Focus on the child's behavior that we consider inappropriate
Consistency does not mean constantly nagging and scolding the child even for the most minor offenses and mistakes.
Negative thinking patterns
When parents place all the responsibility for bad behavior on their children's shoulders, they fall into a spiral of negative thinking: "My child needs to change. It's his/her fault that..."
So you lose sight of your own role in all of this. You don't realize how you contribute to your children's problematic behavior.
Therefore, you don't think about what you can change in your own behavior to get the result you want.
Parenting on Autopilot
You are present in body but not in spirit, and your child barely communicates with you. Sometimes you even nod your head affirmatively, but then you don’t remember a word.
Your brain was on something else entirely. Children quickly learn that you are emotionally unavailable to them.
That they have to make an effort - be really rude - to get you to finally pay attention to them. That cooking dinner is more important than listening to them. That you don't care about being close to them.
This kind of autopilot communication with children is harmful to both parties. Parents miss the subtle signals that their children give that would help them understand them and know what they are really thinking and feeling.
Every parent falls into one of these pitfalls from time to time. That's why it's important to learn about all the possible pitfalls as early as possible and try to avoid them.
Being a good parent doesn't mean everything has to be perfect all the time.
