When raising children, it is important to remember that the purpose of punishment should not be simply punishment in itself, but rather the formation of correct skills, behavior, and attitudes toward the situation.
Psychologist Irina Zolotova told how to punish children correctly.
Here are some tips that can help parents find the right balance in disciplining their child.
1. Be consistent. It is important that punishment is consistent and applied according to certain rules. The child needs to know that some actions have consequences.
2. Explain the reasons. Punishment should be related to the rule violation and understandable to the child. Explain why the behavior is undesirable and how it may affect them and others.
3. Connection of punishment with behavior. It is important that punishment is connected with a specific violation. The child must understand that punishment is a consequence of his actions, and not an accident or manifestation of parental anger.
4. Be proportionate. Punishment should be proportionate to the violation. This means that it should be severe enough for the child to realize his mistake, but it should not be too harsh or excessive.
5. Learn to distinguish punishment from negative emotions. Remember that punishment should not be an expression of anger or irritation of the parent.
Your attitude should convey a clear understanding of the violation and the consequences, not a sudden emotional reaction.
6. Involve your child in the process. Allow your child to express his or her thoughts and feelings about his or her behavior and its consequences. Discuss possible options for correcting mistakes and punishments with him or her.
7. Focus on praise. In addition to punishment, do not forget to devote time and attention to rewarding and praising good behavior. This is important for creating positive feedback and motivating the child.
It is important to remember that each child is unique, and not always the same method of punishment will be effective for everyone. The appropriate method of punishment depends on the age, character and specific situation.
If you are experiencing difficulties or have difficulty choosing the appropriate method, seek help from a child psychologist.
When disciplining children, it is recommended to avoid words and actions that may harm their self-esteem and emotional well-being.
1. Derogatory or offensive words. Avoid using offensive and derogatory expressions such as "stupid", "bad".
Generalized phrases like "you never understand", "you always break everything". This can seriously damage a child's self-esteem.
2. Blackmail or threats. Using blackmail or threats to achieve the desired behavior of a child is ineffective and can cause negative emotions.
For example: "If you misbehave, your uncle will take you away", "If you don't listen, we'll give you away". Never threaten physical or emotional pain. This can have a very negative effect on the child's psyche.
3. Comparisons with other children. Avoid comparing your child with other children, especially in a negative context.
Like "all children are normal, but you are not", "Dima always listens to his mother, but you always don't understand anything". This can cause a child to feel inferior and envious.
4. Long-term neglect. Long-term neglect of a child after a violation is not recommended. This can cause him to feel rejected and misunderstood.
5. Physical Punishment: Responsible organizations and many child-rearing experts strongly recommend avoiding physical punishment such as hitting or spanking.
Not only is physical violence illegal in many countries, it can also cause serious damage to the trust and emotional bond between parent and child.
Instead, try to use positive and constructive punishment methods, such as time off, taking away privileges, or extra work.
It is important to remember that punishment must be effective, fair, and take place in a context of love and support for the child to help him learn from his mistakes and develop positively.
