In order for your child to become independent, first of all you need to support him from birth and make him understand that you are always there.
Psychologist Yulia Bidzha told how to raise independent children.
For a child, a mother is a substitute and personification of the entire Universe. If a mother is always there, if a mother is always supporting, if a mother is always saying: “You are the best. You can do it. I believe in you,” for a child this is the personification of what the entire Universe is telling him about it.
And the more mom and dad give support and praise, the more the child will be confident that he will really succeed, and the more independent he will become.
In addition, it is very important to consider the child an adult and independent person from birth. No matter how strange it may sound, but by considering the child defenseless, small, we thereby raise his lack of independence.
If we truly believe that a child can decide for himself whether he is hungry or not, whether he is cold or hot, then we give him responsibility for his behavior.
And the sooner we begin to gradually let him feel his independence and responsibility (naturally, all this at an adequate age and within adequate limits), the more independent the child becomes.
Accordingly, if at 4 years old we still feed the child with a spoon, at 5 years old we still wash the child and do not let him wash himself, at 7 years old we still dress him, then it is precisely with such actions that we accustom the child to the lack of independence.
It is very important to keep track of ourselves that the child’s lack of independence is often very beneficial to us, because by showing the child his lack of independence and convincing ourselves that the child is still small and ignorant, we make ourselves superior to him.
We feel smarter than him, we feel that we have power over him. And many parents, enjoying this power, create a lack of independence in their children. And then they themselves become indignant.
