How to help a child make friends: advice from a psychologist
"The more friends you have, the easier it is to write math tests" - this paraphrase has been known since the middle of the 20th century, and has not lost its relevance today.
In the same vein, it is possible and necessary to motivate a child to communicate with peers in kindergarten and primary school. Communication is one of the effective, efficient methods of successful socialization.
This is what concerns motivation: more friends – more interesting games, activities, toys, “birthdays”, gifts and sweets, trips to picnics and nature. All these elements motivate, explains psychologist Andrey Kashkarov .
The main motive of activity in childhood (up to about 8 years) is play, it is through play that the child is brought up. Therefore, the emphasis is placed on play. The process of education, of course, has many elements, including praise, but the child is most sensitive to play in the topic and age under consideration (receptive to new experiences).
As for methods for expanding communication. Children, in principle, find a common language and sometimes activities even in the sandbox quite well, not yet familiar with each other. The same is true in kindergarten, where the teacher "officially" introduces them.
Children's books also teach how to get acquainted indirectly. A child receives a good socialization skill and preparation for it if a parent (and not necessarily a mother, but especially a father) not only reads to children before bed, but also discusses a fairy tale, an interesting story (according to age) and the actions of the characters. The height of effectiveness and pleasure is when a parent not only reads, but is also able to "invent" and tell a fairy tale to his child.
For some, this is not difficult even after a tense "work rhythm", if only there is a desire. Special emphasis in such stories, retellings and reading "with expression" is given to dialogues by roles. They should be highlighted by intonation, and even by parental comments - why and for what reason the hero said this or that.
A good method for gaining confidence for a child is in communication with other children and adults, against so-called “shyness” - self-expression skills.
So, after practicing fairy tale therapy, you can discuss with your child what he likes and dislikes, and smoothly move on to mini-theatrical productions at home, where you can play out the fairy tale “in roles”.
Gradually involving neighboring children or "friends" from kindergarten or the yard in the performances. In fact, all children's games, including "mothers and daughters" and "teacher and student" are role-playing performances, only directed by the children themselves.
Theatrical performances at home not only provide children with socialization skills and, as a result, their friendship, but also develop acting, creative, and artistic abilities, that is, the skills of non-standard solutions, which is very useful in adult life.
For those who have not yet mastered, due to characteristic features, great results in socialization in a children's group, special parental attention is needed.
Lovingly discuss the reasons and difficulties of communication with the child: as a rule, difficulties can arise when meeting a child of the opposite sex, this is typical even in kindergarten.
In my opinion, there is no need for criticism and hidden sarcasm in teaching like: “yes, go meet her, be brave, she won’t eat you,” but a much more subtle and attentive to the child teaching maxim: if you are in an unfamiliar place and you want to play with unfamiliar children, just say “hello.”
The main thing is to start somewhere, and not wait for “initiative” from others, because it may not be there for a long time (if you are so lucky with the team). As they say in football, “don’t be afraid of the striker, he is afraid of you”. A friendly greeting (the method works, by the way, at all ages) greatly helps socialization, and then, after mastering the basics, you can teach the child and apply in practice other methods of self-presentation in an unfamiliar team, for example, “hello, my name is Andrey, I learned this and that yesterday and I can show you”.
