Emotional burnout or the state of “I’m fed up, I have no strength” manifests itself in different situations, not only at work, but also in families, and has a common feature – a cumulative negative effect and a deficit of satisfaction (pleasure) from the process of interaction with other people, says psychologist Andrei Kashkarov .
There is no one to blame but yourself, and here's why.
It is important to notice the body's signals
Emotional burnout does not occur at once, so a person can easily notice the precursor signals of a problem from his own body. Another thing is that there are people who ignore them, justifying their reactions by hopelessness (lack of choice) and even "responsibility".
Both are from the evil one. When you think about responsibility or obligation, remember the main thing: being unhappy yourself, you cannot know about happiness and make someone else happy.
It is certain that in order to avoid or get out of a situation where you “don’t want anything anymore,” you need to change your environment, your social circle, and, in general, the picture before your eyes.
This process can take various and banal forms – from going on vacation, including “without pay”, changing jobs and even professions (do this in advance, planning, not spontaneously), to traveling and changing social circles. There can be as many options as you like; they are limited only by the imagination of a particular person.
Next, we will talk about lesser known paths.
Only a happy person can help
Therefore, it is your emotional-comfortable-harmonious state that is extremely important. Having achieved or maintained it, you are able to give joy to others.
In our turbulent times, there are many examples of divorces or cooling off due to the spouse's "eternally sour face" nearby; at the same time, he does not neglect nominal care and responsibility. He may even work three jobs and "bend over backwards".
But attitude... attitude is extremely important. Otherwise, all meaning and motive are lost. And with the loss of meaning comes emotional burnout.
This is the other side of the "correct words" about responsibility, with which we do not argue at all, but only clarify the nuances. The important is always "hidden" in the details of the situation, and in this case - in the attitude to the matter.
This reminds me of the plot from Vl. Vysotsky's song about climbers: "he groaned, but held on." Probably, in general this is not bad and important, but no less important is the attitude with which you do it, care or give joy to the family, interact with colleagues in the work rhythm. And it is desirable to do this sincerely with a smile and joy.
Attitude is important
Humor, sincere feelings for family and co-workers, and also – extremely importantly – a creative approach will help with this.
Despite your busy schedule, experiment, look for new forms of interaction, be genuinely interested in other employees. Make it a rule not to evaluate them, but to do something nice for them just like that.
Start today - when you meet someone, say "hello" with a sincere smile. Even hitting (in competitions) should be done with a smile on your face, and if you recall the popular movie among teenagers "The Karate Kid" with Jackie Chan as Khan, you will find direct confirmation of this: Khan taught the boy to defend himself and fight and demanded to show "attitude" as an important element of fighting and karate culture.
Change your schedule – dose your work
There is a proven European experience on this topic. In a critical condition (burnout), it is recommended to limit the work process without completely leaving it.
In agreement with management, change your work schedule: for example, work 1 hour a day 2 times a week, then 2 hours every day, then 4, and then enter a stable and normal regime "like everyone else". By the way, the same method of adaptation to work is used after a long vacation.
This way you will accumulate energy.
But if you neglect this and continue to exhaust yourself with the justification of unceasing responsibility or the fear that your competitors will intercept your “earnings” (which is extremely relevant in our time), then you risk... Losing a lot in the recovery process, and this is unsafe for the psyche.
Have an alternative
There is only one way to escape from an unloved job and/or a hateful family life without a “lightbulb” – compensation with psychological tools. But what compensation a specific individual will choose is his area of responsibility. Of the conditionally “good” compensation options, we will call “an alternate airfield”, that is, drawing up a plan and accumulating resources in order to distract yourself from the “unpleasant”.
In practice, this can be variable: a country house for privacy or, on the contrary, noisy parties with friends (whatever suits your personality type), new acquaintances or additional work, including in the form of a hobby. It is there that you can distract yourself from your "main" work, where you regularly feel emotional burnout to a significant degree. But there is a nuance.
Nuance of the situation
The second or alternative employment should not be in the same professional key. In other words, if you are a turner - do not look for an "evening shift" at another plant, if you are a security guard - do not be greedy for part-time work (although in this case - this is also an option, because it gives a change of team and faces before your eyes), and the best way is this.
If you are a school teacher or civil servant, a “side job” in the form of literary creativity, custom handicrafts, or culinary experience would be a great fit for you.
Of course, all this in a systematic form. In this case, emotional burnout at the "main job" is leveled. A good option against emotional burnout is shown by N. V. Gogol in "Dead Souls": Governor Pyotr Petrovich, embroidering on tulle.
The least susceptible to emotional burnout are creative people and entrepreneurs. They always know about the inexhaustibility of the gift from above and their potential and use the motto: A potentia ad actum (from the possible to the actual).
Be open to communication
In communication, if the situation allows, do not hide feelings and emotions, even weaknesses can make you "strong". This increases not only the quality of interpersonal relationships within the team, but also the productivity of activities.
There is also strength in not being afraid to share doubts and worries – this way you demonstrate your real self and act authentically, becoming honest and trustworthy. Without a doubt, these are excellent qualities for an employee.
Even if you don't achieve the result (depending on what your goal is), your self-awareness grows from the fact that you did what you wanted, and literally everything you could. That is, you did the right thing.
You are not alone
Please note that burnout is so common that it is included in the International Classification of Diseases (ICD-11) and is defined as “a syndrome resulting from chronic work-related stress that cannot be managed.”
According to statistics known in Russia: 88% of Russians experience stress at work, 47% of them are nervous because of a high workload, 45% worry when a problem arises that they cannot influence, 36% when they make mistakes, 28% during conflicts with colleagues or management, and 25% each because of missed deadlines and when communicating with management.
Why is it important to “be yourself”
Sometimes you can even hear from professionals: "be yourself and don't play someone else's role." But what is "just being yourself" if not following the path of harmony and expanding the space for choice?
And if, in addition, you are so influential that you change the boundaries of another’s choice, then wait for an answer – a reflected experience, which will definitely return a hundredfold.
To consciously adhere to such a position, you need a clear understanding of the situation, the goal and what you want to get in the end. Such growth is synonymous with freedom. And freedom is synonymous with happiness.
And vice versa. When you do something that you don't want and don't feel right, including with the help of intuition, you can tactically gain a small local benefit.
However, firstly, this is not the path to harmonious development of the individual, and secondly, the consequences of such “acquisitions” in the medium and long term can be unexpectedly negative.
This can only be done if you basically “don’t care” about what will happen next and the relationship is no longer satisfactory or was never satisfactory.
That is, you can lie to others (and yourself) if you want a temporary result or in a specific part of it, here the benefit from desires is justified. If you count on long-term relationships - to avoid dependence on external factors and "Laevsky syndrome", lying is futile. Maybe just a little.
Earlier we talked about how to protect yourself from feeling disappointed in people.
Expert: Andrey Kashkarov
