The first year of a relationship is a roller coaster: you learn to read each other's minds, argue about the correct way to fold toilet paper, and cry tears of happiness when he gives you flowers for no reason.
In the second year, common projects appear - renovations, travel, maybe even a dog.
And on the third, something strange happens: you wake up and realize that your partner no longer gives you butterflies in your stomach.
His stories about work seem boring, and her new makeup is an attempt to “prove something.” You write it off as routine, but the real reason is deeper. It turns out that our brain perceives falling in love as… a project.
Yes, like a work deadline. For the first 18-36 months, the body produces a cocktail of hormones (dopamine, oxytocin) that make us idealize our partner.
But once the brain realizes that "the project is over," the chemistry disappears. And that's where true love begins—or fails. Couples who survive past three years do something counterintuitive: They deliberately create discomfort.
For example, they go on a hike without planning, learn sign language together, or try extreme sports.
Why? New impressions trick the brain, forcing it to produce “falling in love hormones” again.
But most people prefer a safe scenario: TV series on the couch, the same restaurants, repetitive conversations.
The recipe is simple: if your weekend can be described in two sentences, you are at risk. Try replacing “coziness” with “awkwardness” – and see how your feelings come alive.
