People must decide this question for themselves.
Most psychologists say that there are more arguments in favor of breaking up completely and not even having friendly relations than in favor of the opposite decision.
But the couple must decide for themselves whether they need friendly communication after the end of the love relationship.
Will this communication bring them joy, relief, or will it cause pain? In answering these questions, it is important to be frank with yourself, leave illusions, romantic dreams and look the truth in the eye.
Most ex-lovers are unable to be friends after a breakup for one reason or another.
When can you remain friends?
1. Both partners have cooled off towards each other and no longer experience romantic feelings and affection. In this case, they can continue to communicate calmly, since there is no attraction between them and the desire to be close.
If thoughts about your ex do not cause pain or trembling in the knees, there is no desire to be near him, to end up in his arms, you can try to become friends.
But feelings really should be absent, and each partner should be aware of this. Not every time such a situation is possible immediately after a breakup. Sometimes people come to such relationships after years.
2. Exes are forced to constantly cross paths. This is the option when partners are forced to tolerate each other in order to establish normal human communication. It is difficult to talk about friendship here.
The exes may continue to work in the same place or have children together. It is better to try to achieve neutrality, not to insult the partner and not to quarrel every time you meet. Also, this should be understood and realized by those around you: friends, relatives, colleagues. Then, over time, something similar to friendship may arise.
3. Initially, the couple had a predominantly friendly relationship. There are cases when friends try to move to the level of romantic relationships, but fail.
Then they have a chance to continue being friends. For them, the transition to their previous relationship seems quite logical and normal.
When it's not worth staying friends and it's better to stop communicating
1. The couple had nothing in common except a romantic relationship.
Feelings have cooled, and nothing connects them anymore.
In this case, you shouldn't try to forcefully continue communication, try to become friends. This will only burden both of you. It's better to break up and not cross paths anymore.
2. One partner hopes that friendship will help bring back the old romance and love.
Such self-deception and deception of the ex-partner, who is sure that there are no more feelings, will not lead to anything good.
At first it will seem that such an undertaking will be successful, but over time the ex will meet another person and will be consumed by these feelings. It is logical that he will start sharing details with the person close to him, unknowingly making him suffer. Such a painful relationship will not benefit either one of them.
3. The partners left a toxic relationship. There can be no talk of friendship here. One of the partners will try to take advantage of the situation to restore everything, and this will be a new trap. A toxic person will not change after a breakup.
4. Too painful a breakup. It is not worth establishing friendly relations if the breakup was initiated by one of the partners, and the other would like to leave everything as it is. It is better to stop communicating immediately to let the pain subside.
There are different situations in life. Some imply a chance to maintain positive relationships and even become friends. Others exclude such a development of events. And then there is no point in insisting on the opposite.
