Very often you can hear from friends, colleagues and acquaintances the question - why can't I meet my man? Why can't I get married?
Psychologist Lilia Fomicheva explained why women are afraid to build relationships with men.
Regardless of whether a woman wants a relationship and can’t find her person, or a woman is afraid to build relationships, in both situations the female sex can be driven by unconscious behavior programs.
Unconscious programs are usually implanted in us in childhood and adolescence by our parents, and many parental scenarios are repeated by adults at the subconscious level.
A woman may be afraid of men, may be afraid to build relationships with them for several reasons
1. If the father left the family early in childhood and the girl took on the "I was abandoned" program. In such a case, in order not to repeat a similar life situation in her life, the woman does not enter into a relationship. It is safer for the brain - there will be no pain that the mother once experienced. We can say that this happens out of loyalty to the mother.
2. If the family was complete, but the father used physical or moral violence against the mother or the girl herself. With age, such a child develops an internal defense that it is better to live without a relationship than to endure this already at a conscious age.
3. A painful breakup/relationship in the woman's past. Abusive relationships, tyranny, leave their mark on a person's future life. Without therapy, such a person may ultimately either continue to live without a relationship at all, or always end up in the same relationship scenarios.
4. If a woman has the attitude that:
- all men are unfaithful;
- that there are a lot of men around and it’s hard to choose, what if I choose the wrong person;
- that in family relationships a woman needs to sit at home and not show herself.
What should you do if you find yourself in one of these categories?
In solving such queries, it is recommended to delve a little deeper into yourself!
After all, it is from a psychological point of view that there may be secondary benefits and subconscious programs that control our brain.
Outwardly, a woman can be incredibly well-groomed, magnetic, beautiful, create a pleasant impression, but unconsciously, on dates and when meeting men, internal programs work in her subconscious that create an external conflict.
I would recommend that you first try to analyze the issue yourself or immediately seek help from a psychologist.
It is the psychologist who will be able to competently collect anamnesis - your data, your request, information about your previous relationships and their duration, information about your relationships in the family, and already seeing the whole picture, seeing your behavioral strategy in life and role scenarios, build competent work on the request.
That is, for independent analysis, you can write out your answers for each of the points above and try to see some similar points, trace the scenario that you move along from time to time in your relationships, in choosing partners.
There are situations when simply answering these questions is not enough and diagnostic exercises are required that allow a body-oriented psychologist to see the language of the body and its tensions.
It is the work in combination of body and head that works through a person’s attitudes, including in the area of relationships.
At the level of feelings and emotions, a body-oriented psychologist will help you remove mental constructs: in relation to yourself, in relation to the opposite sex, to the fact that you cannot meet your person.
It is important to enter into a new relationship consciously, not from a state of deficiency that a soulmate is needed, but from an abundant state. Being abundant in this context means loving yourself, taking care of yourself, when there is so much light and warmth in a woman that those very "your" men are drawn to this glow!
It is important to tune in to deep internal work, trust your specialist and get the wonderful results that you have set as your goal!
