- Tell me that you love me. - Isn't it clear without words?
Valery Gut, PhD in Psychology and developer of the theory of adaptive intelligence, told how to understand what a man loves .
Love is an important part of every person's life. And it is very valuable for us to know for sure that our other half loves us as much as we love them.
But men and women have different perceptions of love. A woman can't always guess a man's feelings. He thinks that everything is obvious.
Almost all scientists in philosophy and psychology have spoken about what love is and what it is based on. Carl Jung, One of the greatest psychologists of the 20th century, in his autobiographical book “Memories, Dreams, Reflections” says that love is a great mystery, in which many opposing ideas are concentrated.
Any attempt to come up with a precise definition would be an endless self-deception. According to Hegel, love is the overcoming of a system of differences that cannot be united.
This is what needs to be taken into account when it comes to understanding your partner's love language. When a woman loves, she speaks openly about it. A man shows love in his own way.
In psychology, there are general signs that a partner is in love:
- shows attention to the object of his love, shows open interest;
- in a relationship, he wants more than he has now, makes plans and introduces him to his close circle of friends and relatives;
- does not doubt the object of affection, does not look for options;
- strives to become better, to show himself from a more favorable side.
These signs can be used to tell whether a man or a woman is in love. But there are also some peculiarities in the manifestation of feelings in males.
1. A man is a protector and a provider by nature. Therefore, the main sign by which one can note a man's love is the desire to protect the object of his love, to guard, to take responsibility for safety.
Despite the fact that women in the modern world are not threatened by as many dangers as in past centuries, a man shows his feelings through action.
The main character of the film "Love as Redemption" fell in love with a girl who had to sell herself, wanted to save her and marry her.
Despite all the difficulties, he truly loved her and did everything he could to help her. In the end, the girl believed in his love and loved him back.
2. A man in love does things for the sake of his beloved woman. By them, one can understand his intentions and feelings.
"I want him to know that everything that is valuable to me in life, I owe to him," the famous actress Meryl Streep once said at the Oscars. Her husband Don Gummer always made compromises and supported his wife in her main passion - cinema: for example, he took care of the children while Meryl was filming.
Men and women differ from each other in the level of emotional expression. Nature has endowed men with a taciturnity. But this should not be considered as disdain or coldness.
If a man says a lot of words of love, then in reality this does not always mean a true manifestation of feelings.
Don Juan Tenorio, born in Spain in the 14th century, led a dissolute life and seduced hundreds of women without loving any of them. He became the prototype of the well-known image of Don Juan.
Gary Chapman, in his book The 5 Love Languages, talks about the importance of understanding what “love language” your partner speaks.
What does love mean to him? People with different temperaments and characters express and understand it in their own way. Words of approval are important to one. Joint leisure is important to another.
The third one is to receive and give flowers and gifts. The fourth one is to please the partner, to serve him in everyday life. The fifth one needs physical touch.
In a couple, it is important that both see the manifestations of the “love language” and understand it.
