How many poets have written poems about love, about this theme that torments souls and burns bodies.
Psychologist Ekaterina Olenchenko explained why love is painful.
How many great people have died for love. It does not let go, it beckons, it hurts, but people go to it again and again. They do not know what awaits them next to it, but they go.
It causes a lot of pain, suffering, people are even left alone. But there are also advantages, when love is not torture, but passion, tenderness, hugs, as if you were covered with a warm blanket.
So why is love a torment?
We fall in love with a person, first biologically, that is, by smell, by appearance, we need only a few seconds to understand whether we will continue the relationship.
This happens unconsciously, hormones make our heads spin, and we don’t notice a lot.
And during subsequent meetings with a partner, we can observe, ask questions, listen to our feelings. How do we feel with this person? We make choices for certain reasons.
It also happens that it is as if we have known this person all our lives, so dear, they usually say “soul mates”, all this is because our intimate smell turns out to be the same.
We are also "attracted" to partners with whom we have similar family programs. For example, dad drinks, mom is a victim, and the daughter grows up with such a scenario.
The daughter will unconsciously look for a partner similar to her father, he will not be immediately visible, but as soon as they live together, something will happen, for example, he will be fired from work, and he will immediately change and start drinking.
That's it, the script is launched, and here love is not only painful, but also destructive.
We love with our images taken from movies, books, family scenarios, ancestral scenarios imposed by society, etc. Where are we at this time? Where is our awareness? If we are always in rose-colored glasses. That is why love causes so much suffering.
Each of us must ask ourselves the right questions to know ourselves and then go into relationships. A common problem with my clients is that we do not know how to communicate with each other and say what we feel in each situation.
We are afraid of the truth, and this does not make love greater. We like to suffer and look for excuses for everything - "it's my fault, I did something wrong, and he tried, well done" - the husband, meanwhile, beats his wife.
You can get out of painful love with the help of therapy, self-knowledge, introspection, books, and spiritual practices.
Then love will not bring pain, but there will be more joy, pleasure and many pleasant moments that you can remember with your other half.
