There is a proverb: "While you are dissatisfied with life, it passes."
Be glad that you are alive and generally capable of communication, contacts and do not experience the same shock towards a man as he is capable of experiencing it from you - your appearance, intelligence and blinkered consciousness of templates.
If a man does not pay attention, most likely he does not have such an opportunity or desire. On the other hand, there are certainly reasons for this. These are the main differences that need to be sorted out.
Of course, we need to look into each specific case separately, but the main thing is that nothing comes out of nowhere and nothing happens “just like that”; there are obvious or hidden reasons for everything.
Moreover, the problem of a person is that even if you explain and justify the cause-and-effect relationship in a specific situation, people who are overly committed to their own interests are still deaf to arguments and look for the guilty in advice and recommendations. This is both funny and stupid.
If the man you have chosen has changed his behavior (that is, he shows a contrast to how he seemed to you before - otherwise you would not have chosen him), then you are doing something that he does not like, says psychologist Andrei Kashkarov .
So, you need to figure out the reasons for his "inattention". To do this, watch attentively.
How he behaves towards other women – in his family, in his work team, in kindergarten, taking his children, and at the clinic, and even just on the road, driving a car in the flow of cars and pedestrians.
Without rushing and without bringing the topic up for discussion with relatives and friends, which is difficult in itself, because they are right there - "we wish you well", and often they do. But what "well"?
Indeed, there are many such types of men who reasonably consider a woman "below" their dignity. We will not give any assessments to this, but such a miracle is also not uncommon.
Then figure out the systematicity of the phenomenon. If it is confirmed traditionally, then most likely it is an individual character trait - why not?
There are some people who are stingy with their feelings and who believe that by showing emotions they are showing weakness, and this consciousness is literally unbearable for a typical man raised in a stereotypical manner by his mother.
That's why women teach women on forums (also in a cliched manner) - "take him on a dare", "what, are you too dared?" Well, you'll take him like that a couple of times, and then you'll get tired of proving to him that he's "not a camel" and has a reason for his actions.
In the conditionally third most important place or step – a heart-to-heart talk is necessary. You can start by telling about your family, about the relationship between your father and mother – current or former.
About how the father looked after him, what he was like or what he was like. And smoothly shift the conversation to his family, traditions, the relationship between his parents.
As a rule, not only a woman-daughter copies the behavior of her mother, but also a man, in one way or another, repeats, albeit to a lesser degree of dependence, the experience of his parents; after all, we all learn from examples before our eyes, accepting them as the norm of behavior.
Hint to him several times in a row, either by voice or text message, about your desires and expectation of attention.
You can even simply and correctly ask without any complaints - why are you so inattentive, but God forbid, without criticizing or comparing him with anyone.
Show an example and even systematically be generous in showing feelings and (or) other attention, take the first step yourself - if this is your man and you have decided to live with him, then all means are good for happiness.
All this will help clarify the main difference indicated in the first paragraph. If he lacks resources, he will definitely show himself as soon as he is in force, and you will notice it immediately.
If he is stingy by nature, it is impossible to change this radically. Then look at the root of the situation - at his other positive qualities, will they outweigh the conditional stinginess of his attention?
If you can tolerate it, tolerate it; if not, look for another one, but remember that no one is perfect, and the new one is often worse than the previous one, but “you can’t turn the mince back.”
Another important detail is what his ideas are about "normal behavior." Maybe he doesn't even know how to behave with a woman.
Consider the 1986 Australian-American action comedy Crocodile Dundee, set in the Australian outback and New York City, starring Paul Hogan and Linda Kozlowski.
If a person lives, say, far from civilization, he knows how to cut down and butcher an alligator, but he doesn’t know the polite words and gestures that are so pleasing to women’s ears and hearts.
In both the movies and in life, it is impossible to completely change an adult man, and do not delude yourself with illusions, but it is quite possible to adapt him for your own comfort and family life, over time and with patience.
