Love is a complex and multifaceted feeling that can change and evolve over time.
Sometimes changes occur in a negative direction: feelings disappear and love passes.
Psychologist-psychotherapist, coach Yulia Vatutina answers the question in more detail.
There are several main reasons why this happens.
- Expectation Mismatch: When people enter into a relationship, they may have certain expectations about their partner and the relationship itself.
If these expectations do not match reality or change over time, this can lead to disappointment and a gradual cooling of feelings. - Lack of communication. Lack of open and effective communication can lead to the accumulation of resentments, misunderstandings and unresolved conflicts.
Gradually, this will create a critical gap between partners, who will cease to be interesting to each other. - Routine and monotony. At a certain point in a relationship, a routine appears, and life together becomes predictable and monotonous. The lack of novelty and adventure can lead to a fading of passion and a weakening of love feelings.
- Lack of support and disappointment. If one or both partners do not feel moral or other support, understanding or a sense of their own importance in the relationship, this can lead to disappointment in the partner and a gradual fading of love.
Lack of mutual support will sooner or later lead to a feeling of vulnerability and accumulated resentment. - Change in character. People continually develop and change throughout their lives. Interests, values, and life priorities may be diametrically opposed at different periods of life.
And the partner may not like such radical changes, especially if they happen unexpectedly, without his participation. This leads to misunderstandings, conflicts and weakening of feelings.
Love is a changeable and unstable phenomenon. It can pass and reappear several times in relationships between the same people.
But too drastic changes in any case do not play in favor of the partners; such relationships can hardly be called healthy.
Therefore, in order to maintain and strengthen relationships, it is important to work on them, pay attention and invest various efforts, paying attention to the factors listed above.
Why love passes: opinions of psychologists
The topic of relationship duration and fading feelings has been studied by many psychologists.
But before moving on to specific research, it is important to note that love is a subjective concept, and its understanding depends on the individual.
Therefore, scientists cannot have a single answer to the question of why it happens and how long it lasts. The perception and experience of relationships can vary greatly from person to person.
A number of American studies show that passion in romantic relationships can wane over time. They propose a theory of three components of passion: attraction, perceived unavailability, and elation.
According to this theory, over time, partners become more available to each other and passion decreases. At the same time, research shows that attachment can strengthen over time.
Another study by renowned psychologist John Gottman looks at the factors that contribute to the longevity of relationships.
Gottman emphasizes the importance of emotional connection, trust, communication, and conflict resolution skills. These components help strengthen relationships and increase their longevity.
But every couple's relationship is unique, and even if researchers studied the relationships of all couples in the world, it still could not be called objective.
There are no universal rules or formulas for determining the duration of love or a relationship.
Various factors such as personality traits, values, circumstances and external influences can influence relationships.
Research findings can only provide some insight into common problems and point to factors that influence love.
But each couple must independently build and maintain their relationship, taking into account individual circumstances and personal needs.
