When we talk about the emergence of jealousy, we mean an alarming and threatening action of another, almost inadequate.
While jealousy is a typical human reaction under certain conditions, not extravagant among many others, its manifestations are quite broad in form. Even inaction can be a reaction, notes psychologist Andrei Kashkarov .
There are several interesting points. Jealousy is always not an initiative, but a response. Jealousy is discomfort, anxiety, it may have reasons, or it may not have them, because it happens that "a jealous person is jealous without any reason."
Manifestations of jealousy in form and essence depend on the individual set of characteristic features.
In this respect, a person is predictable. Jealousy is directly connected with the habit of "responding to everything" - with revenge, narcissism and a conditional desire to control, influence (which is unthinkable without a fight), to have an indisputable proprietary position.
A person who is aware of developed instincts (above) or, let's say otherwise, predisposed to resentment and retaliatory response, who understands his behavior as the norm, is not averse to provoking jealousy in others. Thus, provoking jealousy is also a way to control, one of the possibilities for manipulating another.
Internal attitudes and attractors that lead to the manifestation of jealousy (a response to stimuli and anxiety about the loss of influence and property) are determined by the fact that "the brain makes a decision in advance" and the person does what he has already chosen. The moment of hesitation is an illusion.
Drinking juice, tea, coffee or alcoholic beverages, as well as acting when circumstances arise that provoke jealousy - you have already decided this for yourself, and in advance. For a person almost always does only what he wants. Therefore, it is impossible to tempt someone who does not want it.
And a newborn child cannot be tempted by a million, because he will not understand what the temptation is, it is not his life world and value picture. The cause-and-effect relationship of jealousy influences by the same analogy.
One of the radical effective ways to stop (neutralize) jealousy is to switch attention to another object in the format of compensation for the “evil” caused.
People regularly use this "right" when neither persuasion nor other actions can influence the demonstratively inattentive chosen one. This method does not suit everyone and is not very attractive from the point of view of preserving the family and harmonious relations.
Another way to sort out feelings and “calm down” is to get more information about the real state of the relationship, to check if there are objective reasons for jealousy, in a specific case this can be solved by personal acquaintance with the subject of jealousy and observation of the situation.
The third way is not to change the other (others), but to change yourself. If you can’t change your attitude quickly, then the opportunity to become attractive to the attention of others almost always exists.
It is not only about new and accessible acquaintances, but also about psychological protection – to maintain mental health, about accessible practices of breathing exercises, aroma and music therapy.
Fourth. You can switch your attention in different ways. To yourself, your children, your career, your hobbies (by the way, sports training helps a lot), or you can read fiction. "Classics" and playwrights have compiled such a world-wide collection of experience and knowledge about manifestations of jealousy that in good books you can find answers to almost all questions of the universe.
In any case, you first need to establish whether there are objective reasons for jealousy, if the relationship is sincere and mutually interested - talk to your partner about the inadmissibility of certain actions, outlining priorities at least with a list, and think about whether you pay enough attention to your partner, because in a relationship everything is so interconnected that reactions can be not only yours, but also to your behavior.
And the best way to avoid the worries associated with jealousy is to increase the frequency of personal and intimate communication with the object of your feelings, then the influence on you of the conditional reasons of “loss of control” or “ownership” is weakened, because you receive confirmation of the opposite.
