The answer to the question of who is a manipulator can be found in the book by E. Shostrom “Manipulator”.
Psychologist Anna Fursova explained who a manipulator is.
A manipulator is a person who is focused only on getting benefits from other people. Manipulations always indicate the manipulator's numerous complexes.
About deep-seated beliefs that you can achieve your goals only insincerely, without revealing your true feelings, thoughts, and needs.
The manipulator lies (hides the true motives of his behavior, feigns emotions, false feelings), does not trust anyone, controls, tells you what to wear, where to go, who to be friends with (for him, life is like a game of chess).
Shostrom identified the eight most popular types of manipulative people
- A dictator is a person who is hungry for power. The way to control others is through force and harsh dominance.
- Calculator - any communication and friendship must necessarily be beneficial for him.
- Prilipalo - people who lead a passive lifestyle. Such people want to be controlled, give responsibility for their lives to others.
- The wimp - this type of person gets the attention of others through constant complaints and bad mood.
- A bully is a manipulator who can only solve problems by fighting and force. People are afraid of him, so they give in.
- Judge - this manipulator knows what is "right". The face of such a person often reflects contempt for others. Next to such a person, you are always to blame for everything!
- A nice guy is a good-natured, people-pleasing person who does it all insincerely. Such a person, unexpectedly for you, may betray or act meanly.
- Defender - this person constantly defends others, justifies them.
The motive for such behavior of the manipulator is not a sincere love for people, but a demonstration of himself as more competent, significant, intelligent. An opportunity to assert himself.
One of the most important criteria in communicating with such a person is to regularly listen to your condition.
If you feel like you are being manipulated, you probably are. The reality that the manipulator imposes is not objective!
It is better to distance yourself from this communication as much as possible. If you are forced to communicate with such a person, double-check his words, do not justify yourself to him, do not share information about what is important to you, about personal things!
If he complains regularly but doesn't change anything in his life, try not to get emotionally involved in this communication.
Take care of yourself!
