Jealousy is a negatively colored feeling in interpersonal relationships that occurs when there is a lack of attention, love, respect or sympathy from a loved one or a highly respected person, while someone else supposedly or actually receives them from him.
Psychologist Anna Fursova told how to stop being jealous.
Let's look into the psychological causes of jealousy in relationships. Below we will talk about jealousy in love relationships of partners (spouses).
Because jealousy can also be between sisters/brothers regarding the attention of their father or mother, a significant adult, or even a girlfriend/boyfriend towards his/her other friends.
One of the reasons for jealousy may be the fear of losing the object of one's feelings.
“He/she will leave and what will happen to me?” - this is what a jealous partner might think.
Behind this often lies a feeling of inferiority due to low self-esteem: I am not good enough for him/her, I am not worthy of this relationship or partner.
Also, the cause of jealousy can be a lack of trust in the world as a whole, with a violation of attachment in childhood. And therefore, about the unformed basic sense of security.
How to deal with jealousy
If your partner really shows excessive, in your opinion, sympathy (attention) to another person, talk to him about it. Tell him that it is unpleasant for you.
Try to clarify your concerns, find out why he needs this communication.
If during the conversation it turns out that your partner does not see any problems in this communication and will continue despite your feelings, think about how important this relationship is to you. How important is it to continue it?
And what will you do if you find out that your partner is actually unfaithful to you?
To break up or continue this relationship
Understanding your actions in this case will help reduce anxiety and minimize jealousy.
If you understand that there is no reason for jealousy, in general, you believe your partner and the reason for jealousy is in your fantasy, then you will have to admit that it is a matter of your self-esteem.
And take measures to form a healthy self-esteem, which sounds like: "I am not better than others, I am not worse than others." Perhaps, for this it will be necessary to resort to the help of a psychologist, psychotherapist.
We cannot predict our future. Control over our partner is only our illusion, those who seek an opportunity to cheat will find it if they want.
Our task is to accurately determine for ourselves the options for action in specific situations and calmly enjoy life.
