When we enter into a relationship, we open up to our partner.
Psychologist Aigul Grand explained why men are afraid of women.
We show not only our strength, but also our weakness and imperfection. This requires a sufficient level of trust in each other and a willingness to demonstrate a real, not “advertising” personality.
A real man is far from the image of a hero with a pumped-up torso, snow-white teeth that dazzle the eyes, a successful business, an ideal family and time to conquer Everest or save whales.
But a real woman doesn’t wake up with perfect hair, makeup, and an image like for a photo shoot in a magazine.
Reality can be difficult to accept when you have an advertising “ideal” image in your head. This discrepancy between your real self and your ideal image is a common reason why men are afraid of women.
Fear of being rejected, fear of having one's shortcomings ridiculed, fear of humiliation are usually experienced by people who grew up in families where physical or psychological violence was tolerated, where parents were cold, uninterested in the life and needs of the child.
I am far from perfect - that means there is something wrong with me. I do not correspond to my parents' ideas of what I should do, I did not manage to become a famous doctor, deputy, astronaut - that means I am a loser. These labels are the result of parental attitudes, lack of love, mistrust.
There are a lot of people now who are not living according to their program, not their life. This is not about self-realization, but about servicing their fears. And the fear of entering into relationships, the fear of intimacy, the fear of being rejected from among them.
Unfortunately, men are much less likely to seek help from psychologists to work through their childhood traumas.
As a result, they drag into adulthood a baggage of imaginary failures, unfounded complexes, and lack of confidence in themselves and their abilities.
This is why we see so many single people, a huge number of divorces, an inability to build harmonious long-term partnerships, and a selection of partners.
Another common reason why men are afraid of women is a consumer attitude, when a girl enters into not a romantic, but a commodity-money relationship and is interested in material goods - gifts, travel, connections, etc.
This behavior of women is also a consequence of childhood trauma. As an adult, the offended girl takes revenge not on her father, but on all the men around her. And the traumatized boy "takes it out" on women.
Only psychological work in this case will help break the vicious circle and start living a full life, rather than servicing your traumas.
