Psychologist Maria Nikolaeva talks about the dark side of falling in love

11.04.2023 20:56

The state of being in love is so wonderful that it is difficult to imagine whether it could ever end.

Psychologist Maria Nikolaeva spoke about the dark sides of falling in love.

Magical euphoria makes a person fly on the wings of love, committing many thoughtless acts, expressing the most intimate, giving away all that is most precious to him.

Of course, when the excessive exaltation subsides, you will have to regret your inadequacy.

First of all, the person in love is focused on the object of his adoration, stops noticing everything around him, as if the whole world had converged like a wedge on his beloved person.

pair of hands
Photo: Pixabay

Such disregard for other people and other opportunities affects his success in life, and therefore, ultimately, can turn off his chosen one, who needs not just admiration, but long-term stability in their life together.

Excessive idealization of the object of one's desire prevents one from perceiving his shortcomings and negative qualities, which any person has, and he may not even hide them.

However, at the moment of insight, the lover will feel deceived, as if the partner himself has changed, although only changes in subjective perception occur. This easily leads to quarrels, conflicts and separation.

The feeling of pre-established harmony makes one ascribe a similar life position and identical values to the adored person, creating the illusion of love until death.

While a person is in love, he is only concerned with mutual feelings, not the objective merits of his partner. He is not ready for compromises, the need to change himself in order to meet the expectations of the other side.

A powerful surge of vital energy leads to heightened emotionality, hypertrophied expression of feelings, and here you can do some pretty stupid things. Usually they are easily forgiven between lovers, but they have a very painful effect when you remember your ridiculous behavior when your feelings cool down.

A person loses self-control, which leads to various embarrassments and frustrations.

A person in love can go completely crazy, either risking his own life for the sake of momentary admiration from his chosen one, or transferring all his property to a potentially reliable life partner, or giving obviously impossible vows and taking on overwhelming obligations.

Loss of reason can manifest itself in a variety of forms and sometimes leads to tragedy.

However, the state of being in love is so delightful in itself that all the listed dangers have never stopped anyone in this life.

A person in love takes a huge risk, giving one hundred percent trust to another person, completely and recklessly. He can lose a lot, but, as they say, nothing ventured, nothing gained, and everyone believes in the best.

Explosive love comes and goes rather quickly, thus differing from deep love, which makes a person calm and confident.

Sometimes falling in love is the first phase of a long-term relationship, and at first it can be difficult even for the person themselves to understand whether these are serious feelings maturing or a random obsession, a "sunstroke", a fleeting affair with a stranger.

Falling in love is a mystery of life, where white and black magic are always mixed, and it is not known in advance what trials you will have to go through, throwing yourself headlong into the pool.

This is a territory of the unknown, where the very flow of time changes, sometimes slowing down, sometimes rushing at breakneck speed, where space is distorted, forcing one to easily overcome huge distances, but suffer from leaving home for work.

There is probably nothing that sharpens your intuition better than the experience of falling in love!

Valeria Kisternaya Author: Valeria Kisternaya Internet resource editor