There is a common belief among couples that the more time you spend with each other, the better your relationship will be.
Psychotherapist Alisa Burakova told how to maintain personal space.
It's great when a couple has common interests, topics for conversation, and enjoys each other's company. And at the beginning of a relationship, it's normal to want to spend every second of your free time with your partner.
But in the next stage of the relationship, it is important to learn to organize personal space for each, otherwise you can simply "suffocate" from each other. How to do it correctly?
Step one. Answer yourself honestly, where your boundaries are being violated by your partner, but you do not talk about it. Maybe your partner regularly reads your correspondence on the phone or tells you which of your friends you need to stop communicating with?
Write down these points and calmly explain to your partner why this is unacceptable to you. Don't be afraid to offend your partner, speak politely. Open dialogue and sharing honest experiences will only make your relationship stronger.
Step two: If you live together, think about whether there is a personal corner in your space? Where you keep only your things and organize the order as you see fit.
Step three. Determine how much of your time you really need during the day/week. Observe your feelings. Some people start to get tired of communicating with their partner after 30 minutes.
Others need a few hours of intimacy. Don't be alarmed if the number is small. As a rule, each of us needs much less intimacy with a partner than we imagine. It's not the quantity that matters, but the quality of time together.
Step four. Remember that you had an interesting hobby that you don’t have time for now. Or meetings with friends on weekends that energized you for the entire work week. Think about how you could bring these things back into your life.
Step five. Respect your partner's personal space. Track when you violate your partner's boundaries. Think about why you do this and how you can change it.
Step Six. Discussion and bargaining with your partner. Create a specific weekly schedule that takes into account your personal time. Check with your partner to see if your plan is suitable for them and if it interferes with your shared plans and traditions.
Pay attention to your partner's wishes regarding their personal space. Look for options that will suit both of you.
Maintain trust and safety in a couple. Then personal space for each will not be a problem, but a resource for your relationship.
