You shout, threaten, deprive the child of cartoons - and it's as if the child doesn't hear. Sound familiar?
Parents spend years searching for a magic method that will turn disobedience into cooperation.
But the secret lies not in severity or bribery, but in one phrase. It is not taught in parenting courses, it is not written about in books.
But those who use it forget about endless arguments and whims. This phrase sounds like: "Let's do it together."
Why does it work? Children (especially those aged 3-12) rebel not against rules, but against a feeling of helplessness.
When you command, "Put away your toys immediately!" the child sees you as a supervisor and himself as a victim. But when you replace the command with an offer of partnership, his brain switches from resistance to cooperation.
“Let’s collect the blocks together and then play hide and seek” is not an ultimatum, but an invitation to join the team.
Example: Instead of "Stop messing around at the table!" say: "Let's figure out together how to eat soup so it doesn't spill. Maybe we should use a smaller spoon?" The child feels that his opinion is important and is more willing to make contact.
Even better, add an element of play: “Let’s pretend we’re robots who carefully place spoons in their mouths. What sound will we make?”
But there is a nuance. The phrase "let's do it together" should not turn into manipulation. If you say this, be prepared to really get involved in the process. It is not enough to stand in the doorway and tell where to put the cars.
Sit on the floor, take a few toys and say: “I put the red ones, and you put the blue ones. Who’s faster?” After 2–3 minutes, the child will get carried away and continue on his own.
This phrase is not a panacea. It won't work if you use it once a month or say it through clenched teeth.
But with regular use, you will notice that the child begins to obey not out of fear, but because he feels: you are not an enemy, but an ally. And this is worth a lot.
