Get rid of these phrases so that your grown-up child doesn’t have to get rid of negative attitudes in a psychologist’s office.
Words can cause harm. And that harm is often harder to repair than any physical injury.
Based on the words of their parents, children and teenagers can quickly learn false concepts and beliefs. To avoid problems in the future, psychologists have compiled a list of phrases that can destroy children's self-esteem.
"You have disappointed me"
The phrase “You disappoint me” can increase anxiety levels and destroy a child’s self-esteem.
In turn, a child's anxiety negatively affects his perception of himself and the world around him. And frequent criticism from parents provokes the development of anxiety in children. The circle is closed.
Instead: Even in the most unpleasant conversations, psychologists recommend criticizing the actions, not the person. Instead of the phrase
"You disappointed me" is better said as "I was upset by what you did." This will help establish a dialogue rather than getting into a harsh confrontation.
"With such a character, no one will ever love you"
Continuing with the previous point, this phrase again criticizes the person (or personality traits), not the actions or deeds.
The child's character is still being formed, and it is not worth labeling him in advance as "unsuitable" for relationships and undeserving of love.
On the contrary, try to instill in your child that love towards him should be unconditional (which, of course, does not give him the right to deliberately bad behavior. Teach him not to go overboard).
"You can't do anything well."
The main attitude that such a phrase teaches is the inability to do anything well. And since the child always pays attention to the words of the parents, it is not surprising that he will behave accordingly.
Instead of working on improving his abilities, he will unconsciously show that he really “can’t do anything.”
Instead: We all have strengths and weaknesses. Do something together with your child and you will achieve your goals.
"Don't talk nonsense!"
When a child's opinion is devalued or the difficulties he or she faces are exposed, it is humiliating.
The psychological consequences of shame and humiliation are decreased self-esteem and self-worth.
Instead: talk to your child gently and non-violently, do not deny his point of view, because any opinion has a right to exist.
Unfortunately, many parents do not realize the seriousness of negative words and statements directed at their children.
Be kind to your children, treat them with respect and never forget to tell them that you love them no matter what.
Earlier we talked about how not to raise a daughter .
