In childhood, lack of parental love negatively affects future life.
An underloved child becomes an adult who does not know any other model of behavior and, as a result, does not like his children, says psychologist Stanislav Sambursky .
Depending on its volume, parental love heals or cripples. Its lack in children in the future provokes neuroses, problems with self-esteem and communication.
An unloved person strives to fill the spiritual emptiness.
The main player in this matter is usually the partner, who is obliged to give warmth, affection and love.
But it also happens that unloved children put themselves in the roles of:
- "Rescuer", when love is achieved through helpfulness and mutual assistance;
- "Tirana" - through force and pressure.
An unloved child can be identified by the following signs.
- A feeling of unhappiness, an inability to rejoice.
- Distrust of everyone and the world in general.
- The position of the abuser or, conversely, his victim.
- Tendency to various kinds of addictions: smoking, alcohol, workaholism, etc.
- The desire to always be on top, better than others, the convenient child syndrome.
- Difficulties in raising your own children.
- Low self-esteem.
- Underdeveloped emotional intelligence, which is expressed in the failure to recognize other people’s emotions and in the difficulty in expressing and controlling one’s own.
- Vulnerability.
- Mental disorders: depression, anxiety, panic attacks, etc.
Healthy interpersonal relationships are based on maturity, honesty and openness. That is why it is so important that in adulthood, biological age corresponds to psychological age. Only in this way can a person who did not receive enough love from their parents in childhood be able to independently fill this gap in life.
First and foremost, it is important to become a loving, caring parent for yourself. In this position, it will be easier to solve problems. Normal relationships will be built, the end in itself of which will not be the healing of childhood psychological trauma at the expense of the partner.