If you have noticed that your child is often offended, reacts sharply to minor failures and is always upset if his peers succeed and he does not, then you urgently need to increase your child’s self-esteem.
Psychologist Olga Nesterenko told how to increase a child’s self-esteem.
How to do this?
1. Pay attention to the climate in the family - you are a role model. As you react to various life situations, so the child will behave in most cases, copying your behavior.
If you panic over any, even minor, reason in front of your child, loudly expressing your emotions, groaning and waving your hands, then know that this anxiety and uncertainty will pass on to him.
Your task is to protect the child’s unstable psyche and emotionally solve problems without their participation.
2. Teach children to react more easily to minor failures with the elementary phrase: "it's okay", if, for example, something fell out of their hands or their clothes accidentally tore. There is no need to scold or reproach the child for this.
Give examples of your own life experiences, support with phrases like: "I understand how you feel now, I had the same thing when...", or "everything is fixable, don't worry". Help correct the mistake and praise for the desire, courage or diligence to fix everything.
3. Never compare your child with other children. Phrases like "look at Masha, Petya..." have a negative effect on self-esteem. On the contrary, teach them to focus on their personal successes and achievements: "It didn't work out today, I understand how upset you are, but now you know how it should be and next time you will do everything right."
Don't shame your child in front of others: "Well, look at yourself, why are you like this..." or "I'm ashamed of you, what did you do...". Learn to restrain negative emotions, remember that children are just learning about this world, don't judge them based on your level of knowledge and skills.
4. Praise your child for his achievements and help to you. Often parents say: "he should do it anyway, why praise him?" But if you intend to raise your child's self-esteem, then make an effort and note his desire to help.
Focus on actions and deeds: "thank you for helping with the dishes, I appreciate your help", "thank you for taking out the trash, you really helped."
5. Consult with your child. For example, when you go for a walk, ask: "Where would you like to go today?" Or offer two/three options of places that would suit you in any case, let the child make a choice.
Ask for an opinion about any purchase, what he would choose, why he likes this option and not another. This way children feel their importance and confidence that their choice matters.
6. Promise to help. Always say that you will come to the rescue, no matter what happens. And of course, keep your word. Teach your child to tell the truth without fear of being punished. Let him know that at home he will be supported under any circumstances and will be loved no matter what.
7. Pay attention to the child's hobbies. If there are none, offer an activity taking into account his interests. It happens that a child loses self-esteem if he fails to achieve success, for example, in sports, because he likes to draw more, since he is a creative person.
All children are different, some like team games, while others prefer individual ones. Observe the mood, the child's stories about their successes or failures and make the right choice, enrolling the child in clubs and sections.
Don't be guided by your own desires, remember that your child is a separate individual with his or her own tastes, preferences and temperament.
8. And most importantly - say that you love. These words are important for any person, and for children even more so. Remind them every day that you love your child just like that, for having him. And that you are the happiest parents, because HE was the one born to you.
