Psychologist Alla Dalit told how to forget love
The correct formulation is - how not to remember. And not love, not the beloved, but your illusions!
Psychologist Alla Dalit told how to forget love.
The main pain of separation is saying goodbye not to real events that are already in the past, they will not go away, but to the future and what you have placed in it.
That is, with their own expectations, which are more like illusions. There is little reality in them and many childish fantasies. These are the ones that are “taken away” when leaving a relationship.
And it is precisely with them that it is most difficult to part, despite the absurdity of this attitude.
So, how to “fall out of love”?
I will say right away that we are hardly talking about true love. It does not end so quickly and does not tolerate the lack of reciprocity well. Rather, it is about infatuation with a hint of dependence. A kind of obsession with the object.
What to do?
1. Remove all reminders from sight: photos from your phone, things, etc.
2. Do not go or be where a meeting is possible. If you work together, change floors, offices, shifts, and if necessary, even jobs.
3. Don't go to mutual friends' parties where the object of your dreams and pain may be.
4. Forbid friends to ask about him/her.
5. Perform a ritual disposal - burn his/her letters, photos, things in a real fire.
6. Present the object in an unfavorable light: dirty, stupid, cruel.
7. Write down all the object’s shortcomings and reread them regularly, exaggerating them.
8. Remember how you lived before you met and what was good there. It will all stay with you.
9. Remember all the unpleasant moments during the relationship, write them down and reread them regularly.
10. Look for new relationships. Not necessarily serious ones. Distract yourself. Go to holidays, visit.
11. Socialize and meet new people.
12. Don't sit alone and suffer. It may be sweet, but it is not effective.
13. Make it so that getting the target's phone number requires complex logistics. In a moment of weakness, this will greatly slow down your urge to contact.
14. Go to a psychologist and figure out why you choose objects without reciprocal feelings.
The rules are simple but very effective. Remember, there are enough people in this world who will make a wonderful couple for you with mutual feelings.
When you decide you deserve it.
