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Psychologist Yulia Bidzha told how to become an ideal parent: rules
19.04.2023 18:18
First of all, you don't need to strive to be the perfect parent. Any striving for the ideal always gives rise to disappointment, suffering and does not lead to anything good.
Psychologist Yulia Bidzha told how to become an ideal parent: rules.
We condemn ourselves to feeling guilty for never becoming perfect.
Parents make a lot of mistakes precisely because they want to be ideal in front of their child, in front of themselves and in front of everyone around them, but sooner or later they face the fact that it is impossible to be ideal in front of everyone.
The end result is disappointment in yourself and suffering from the role of a parent. Therefore, you need to follow several rules.
The first rule is to try to enjoy parenting.
If we enjoy communicating with a child, talking to him, solving problems with him, learning something, playing, listening to his opinion and talking about ourselves, then our interaction will be much more pleasant.
Just like interacting with your friend - if it brings pleasure, then this friendship will be strong for a long time, but if communicating with a friend does not bring pleasure, then the friendship will soon end.
The second rule is to perceive the child as a friend.
Don't think that your child is your property or your subordinate. Every time you want to say something to your child, think whether you would say it to your friend or not?
For example, would you teach your friend who to greet and how? Would you tell him that he did something wrong in front of other people?
Would you blame him for losing something or leaving something somewhere? You may ask, “How then should we raise a child and how should we instill certain qualities in him?” And here comes…
The third rule is that the child does what you do, not what you tell him to do.
The most important thing is to be an example to your child. If you are a good person, then your child will grow up to be a good person in any case.
If you are a bad person, then just don't communicate with your child. Move away from him and ask someone else to raise your child and communicate with him, because if you are a bad person, then in any case you will raise a bad person.
So to be a perfect parent, you need to be a good person first. And that means honest, loving and kind.
If you think about how to benefit other people, if you know what it means to love and respect yourself, if you really live with some big and beautiful goal that benefits other people and gives you pleasure, then you will not be able to be a bad parent.
You will be a great example for your child, your child will become a good person and live a happy life.
