Psychologist Olga Nesterenko told how to survive a breakup
The first and necessary condition for a difficult breakup with a person is to distance yourself from him as much as possible.
Psychologist Olga Nesterenko told how to survive a breakup.
Unsubscribe from social media pages. Change jobs if you are from the same organization, move to another area, city, country. The further away the object causing suffering, the better.
Often people, changing location, remain grateful for the current situation, as life ultimately turns out for the best. The main thing is to set a goal.
Ask yourself questions when choosing between suffering and finding a way out of a traumatic situation: What do I want for myself? What is best for me? How can I change the situation? Who can help with this?
Don't try to endure the difficult period of separation alone. Identify seven pillars for yourself that will help you feel better.
Who and what will help you get through difficult times
1. Family. Sharing feelings and experiences is one of the human needs. And who else but your loved ones can support you now?
You don't have to share all the details if you don't want to. A few sentences will be enough to describe the situation. Talk to your family about the help they can provide here and now. Even simple heart-to-heart talks can help ease your condition.
2. Friends. Meeting with like-minded people is one of the surest ways to unwind. Don't ignore offers to spend time together.
Go for walks, go to the cinema, visit cafes and meet new people. Don't close yourself off in your world. On the contrary, try to breathe deeply, with your shoulders back, both literally and figuratively.
3. Favorite activity. Think about your hobby, maybe you abandoned it, being carried away by personal relationships. Now is the best time to continue doing what you like. Creativity is the best therapy to live through pain.
Draw, write, knit, sing, dance. Do everything that brings pleasure and a great mood.
4. New business. Be sure to find a new activity for yourself. It's never too late to learn. Complete a marathon, listen to webinars, sign up for courses. Remember what you always wanted to be able to do, but constantly put it off.
Maybe you dreamed of learning to play the harmonica or stand on your head. Go for it, you can find free information on any topic you choose on the Internet. Write a list of 10 (or more) desired skills and start doing it with the easiest ones.
5. Raising self-esteem. There are many techniques that help to return love to yourself. A specialist will always help with this.
Contact a coach who, even in twenty minutes during the first free consultation, will help you define goals for the near future, find resources to achieve them and determine the first steps towards a new life.
What you can do on your own. For example, remember 40 things you are grateful for. Everything you consider your achievements from the moment you remember yourself to today. Write down everything you can do well and the qualities that positively distinguish you from others.
6. Make yourself happy in any way possible. It is important to pay attention to both psychological and physical support.
Go shopping (just don't do it impulsively), order your favorite dinner, book a hair appointment, get a massage, or go to the spa. Do whatever it takes to relieve stress and distract your restless mind from sad thoughts.
Attend parties or organize a mini-celebration yourself, inviting people with whom you feel comfortable spending time.
7. Charity. Useful therapy is to do something that benefits others. If you have never done charity, now is the time to find out who needs your help and where.
Sign up to volunteer. Organize a fundraiser or a collection of necessary items for an animal shelter. These institutions will never refuse physical help. Gather a team or act independently. I assure you that you will like the process and the result, and most importantly, this is a sure way to distract yourself and rethink your grief.
What you definitely shouldn't do is to take revenge on the object of your disappointment. This will only hurt you personally. Success is the best revenge. Accept the situation as a life experience. Having learned a lesson, boldly throw away the rake and move on.
Remember that you don't have to stop trusting people, you just need to be a little more attentive and love yourself more.
