Why You Shouldn't Compare Children: A Common Mistake Parents Make
Many mothers and fathers raising several children often make a serious mistake.
When talking to one child, they begin to cite his brother or sister as an example.
Dangerous phrases like these may be heard: “But Vasya, unlike you, only gets good grades,” “But Tanya’s room is always clean.”
Often parents compare their son or daughter with his/her classmates. There is nothing good about this either.
Why You Can't Compare Children
When talking about another child, mothers and fathers hope that their baby will follow the example of the “correct” child.
But such a calculation is unlikely to be justified. A child who is compared with a brother, sister or classmate may experience anger, shame, guilt, irritation, envy. But he will most likely not change his behavior.
It’s better to simply tell your child what specific action of his that you are unhappy with (“you don’t clean your room,” “you’re a bad student,” etc.).
You can only criticize a child for specific mistakes. There is no need to cite another child as an example.
Otherwise, the boy or girl will consider themselves worse than their brothers, sisters and classmates. Low self-esteem can persist into adulthood.
