Imagine you are in the heat of an argument and it feels like there is a chasm between you and your interlocutor.
But what if just three steps can turn a conflict into a dialogue? The secret is not in eloquence, but in the ability to listen so that the opponent himself wants to understand you.
The most important thing is not words, but body language. Relax, but lean slightly towards the interlocutor, as if catching every word.
Look into the eyes, but not like a detective - light contact is enough.
Nod, say "uh-huh" or "mmm", but... be quiet. Yes, try not to interrupt for even a minute.
It's like a magic elixir: when a person feels that he is truly heard, he himself begins to open up.
And now - a trick from the psychologists' arsenal. Repeat his phrase, but in your own words. Sounds strange? But it works!
If you make a mistake, he will immediately correct you, and if you guess right, he will feel that you are on the same wavelength. This is not yes-man, but a bridge between your realities.
And here's the finale: ask questions that can't be answered with "yes" or "no."
Instead of "Did you like the movie?" ask, "What surprised you about that ending?" Like you're a detective digging deeper, but without the pressure.
And most importantly, keep your tone neutral. Even if you're seething inside, say, "I wonder why you decided that?" and watch as your opponent, instead of arguing, begins to... explain.
Check this out next time an argument gets heated.
You'll be surprised how easily a conversation can turn from a battle into a dance of thoughts - just stop talking and start listening.
