As they say, “we all come from childhood,” and accordingly, all strategies, programs and beliefs are laid down in childhood.
Self-esteem issues also develop in childhood.
We discussed all the intricacies of this topic with psychologist Ksenia Matur .
For example, when parents or other significant adults often criticize, devalue our desires and actions, do not support, and sometimes even “drown” us themselves, it has a sad effect on our internal state, self-worth is lost, and self-esteem rapidly plummets.
When a teacher at school calls us to the board in front of everyone and publicly humiliates us, belittles our results and devalues our work, especially when everyone starts laughing and making fun of us. This destroys our self-worth and destroys our self-esteem.
It is very easy to undermine self-esteem, but it is much more difficult to form and strengthen it. The good news is that we are adults! And it is definitely in our power to strengthen our self-worth and increase our self-esteem.
Let's figure out what self-worth and self-esteem are, and what the difference is between one and the other.
Self-worth is our internal support, what is strong, solid and stable in us. For example, self-confidence, self-love, caring attitude towards ourselves, self-care, the ability and skill to choose the best for ourselves, because we deserve it.
Self-esteem is how we evaluate ourselves. It can be low (when we don’t value ourselves at all and it seems to us that there is always something wrong with us), high (when it seems that I am the best, the coolest, and the rest are so-so) or normal – adequate (when I am cool and other people are cool too, we all have the right to the best for us).
How to increase your self-worth, and as a result, raise your self-esteem
1. Keep a success diary
Write down all your achievements, all your successes, skills, and personal qualities. Can you cross-stitch? Great! Can you drive a car? That's your strength! The longer the list, the stronger your self-confidence will be. Add to this list periodically and reread it.
2. Support yourself
At times when you feel like you are not doing well or you are worse than others, when you feel like you are guilty of something – stop yourself and say “I am fine, next time it will be better!” Become the person who always supports you and is on your side.
3. Communicate more often with those who are on the same wavelength as you
Who supports you, and does not "drown" you. Believe me, there will always be enough people around who want to "prick" you, look for a supportive society of like-minded people.
4. Go to individual or group psychotherapy
This is necessary in order to work through all the reasons and grow your internal support and increase your self-esteem.
For reference
Childhood is a period of human development when a person actively learns to understand the world around him, trains the necessary skills, and assimilates culture.
Expert: Beautiful (Sysoeva) Ksenia
