We've all had to deal with people who are trying to get praised by any means necessary.
Sometimes this behavior can be irritating, but you definitely shouldn't tell your interlocutor about it - otherwise you can harm your relationship.
Instead, it is better to respond tactfully and friendly.
If there is something to praise, praise
If your interlocutor really deserves a compliment, do not miss the opportunity to praise him.
For example, if a colleague asks you to share your impressions of his first presentation at a conference, you can say that you liked his speech, specifying what exactly impressed you.
But even if you weren't thrilled with the speech, try to find at least some positives in it: note that his nervousness didn't stop him from finishing his speech, and his courage deserves respect.
A sincere compliment will not only lift the mood of the interlocutor, but also strengthen your relationship.
Change the subject gently
If you absolutely do not see a reason for praise, you can carefully change the subject.
Let's go back to our example about the speech. When asked whether your opponent was good, you can say: "It's difficult for me to give an objective assessment at the moment. Let's discuss this topic later." This approach will allow you to avoid a direct answer to a sensitive question and switch the conversation to another topic that is interesting to both.
Discuss the pros and cons
If the other person insists on complimenting them, let them know that you're going to discuss not only their strengths but also their weaknesses. Use a phrase like, "I appreciate you asking. I can tell you both the positives and the areas where you could improve. Are you okay with that?"
This approach will help you build a dialogue in which you will express not only praise, but also constructive criticism.
Ask counter questions
When you don’t know what to say in response to a request for a compliment, you can ask your interlocutor how he evaluates his own actions and what moments seem successful to him, and which ones – not so much.
"What do you think? What would you like to change in your speech?": These questions show that you are paying attention to the other person's problems, and at the same time, you do not have to give a compliment.
Politely decline the conversation.
If you're not in the mood to compliment, you can politely decline the request: "I appreciate you very much, but I don't feel qualified to give you an opinion on this matter." Or add a little humor to lighten the mood: "Let's leave the compliments to the professional critics!" This approach will end your conversation on a positive note.
