Why is attention more important than empathy? To answer this question, we need to define each of these concepts.
Psychologist Elena Katsyuba explained why attention is more important than sympathy.
When we talk about attention, we usually mean understanding. That is, we try to understand the other person - their needs, what they need at the moment, what they want, and so on.
And if we pay close attention to the situation, then we try to understand it and, accordingly, help with something.
Sympathy is a set of emotions when we “connect” to another person’s pain, empathize with him. And this, in turn, is possible only if we ourselves have not closed this topic.
For example, if we sympathize with a person who has been treated unfairly and he feels offended, it means that in our own picture of the world this moment is not corrected. In such a situation, we experience his pain together with the other as if it were ours.
We will have exactly the same range of feelings as our interlocutor ("my feeling will strengthen your feeling"). But, even if we experience these feelings together, it will definitely not be possible to solve the problem in this way.
It is important to remember that in the case of sympathy we do not solve the other person's problem. At most, we will cry together with him and go home upset, feeling broken and upset.
We will keep going over this topic in our heads for a long time, remembering how much, for example, we offended our friend, how unfairly he was treated. In turn, the one we listened to attentively did not receive effective help from us, did not solve his problem in any way.
And, on the contrary, if we are talking about attention, then we ask ourselves: "What can I do, how can I help?" Here we already soberly and carefully look at the situation and look for ways to solve the problem, consider all possible solutions.
We think rationally, which means that there is a possibility of answering the problematic question. But even if this does not happen, a person who has shown attention to his neighbor will preserve his nerves and a gracious mood.
