You kiss before work, share news over dinner, and think everything is fine.
But what if your words are quietly digging a hole under the relationship? Ordinary phrases that seem harmless can accumulate in the memory of a partner for years, turning love into resentment.
And the worst thing is that you say them automatically, without even thinking.
Take, for example, "As always, you don't understand anything." This phrase is not criticism, but a blow to self-esteem. It makes the partner feel stupid and unnecessary.
Over time, he stops sharing his thoughts to avoid judgment. Or "Do what you want" - it seems to be about freedom, but in reality it sounds like indifference. The partner hears: "I don't care", and the distance grows.
Another relationship killer is “I told you so.” These words turn your partner’s mistake into your victory. Instead of supporting you, you highlight their mistake, and trust melts away.
And the phrase "You're overreacting" devalues feelings. If a person is crying or angry, they are expecting understanding, not a lesson in emotion control.
But the main enemy is silence. The phrase "Nothing" in response to "What happened?" creates a wall. The partner is left alone with guesses, and discontent accumulates. In a year of such "nothings" you will become neighbors in the apartment, and not close people.
How to fix it? Replace accusations with “I-statements.” Instead of “You forgot to take out the trash,” say, “I worry when the trash piles up.” Learn to ask, not demand: “Please help” instead of “Do it now.”
And never laugh at your partner's fears - even if they are worried about something trivial, it is important to them. Love is not the absence of conflicts, but the ability to speak so that you are heard.
