Jealousy is an extremely complex emotion that arises in various life situations, whether it is romantic or friendly relationships. Mostly, jealousy leads to negative consequences for a person and his relationships.
Psychologist Irina Potapova explained why jealousy arises.
Jealousy arises due to the feeling of a threat of losing a close loved one or due to a feeling of one's own inferiority. Let's list the most common reasons for jealousy.
1. Insecurity. People who lack self-confidence, people with inadequate self-esteem, easily fall into this dangerous trap of jealousy.
They don't recognize their attractiveness, they have a hard time believing that they can truly be loved, so they constantly feel threatened by other people. This leads not only to excessive control in relationships, but also to a feeling of constant stress and chronic anxiety.
In addition, jealousy associated with low self-esteem almost always leads to increased dependence on the partner and a limitation of personal freedom.
This happens because a person seeks to control every action of a partner, manipulate and make changes in his life in order to reduce his own fears and insecurities.
2. Negative experiences. Jealousy can be linked to past negative experiences or traumas, such as betrayal, cheating, deception, or emotional pain. Such traumas can leave a deep mark on a person’s psyche and create a need to control and protect oneself from a possible repetition of the events.
3. Unmet needs. Jealousy can arise in situations where a person has unmet emotional and physical needs.
A lack of attention, love, support or physical intimacy in a relationship can also cause jealousy. This is due to a subconscious desire to fill these gaps.
In addition, the cause of such jealousy is often a lack of communication in the relationship. If partners do not communicate and do not openly express their emotions and needs, then doubts about each other's feelings may arise, and, accordingly, jealousy.
4. Comparison with others. Constant subconscious comparison of yourself with other people can also be a source of jealousy, especially when it comes to close relationships. As a rule, such jealousy is also associated with insecurity and dependence on the opinions of others, with low self-esteem.
Imagine a situation where you have a close friend who always looks fashionable, has a successful career, and is quite popular in society. You admire his/her achievements and qualities, but at the same time you start comparing yourself to him/her.
You may begin to feel jealous because you notice that your friend is getting more attention from others, receiving more praise and recognition.
You ask yourself questions: "Why am I not as successful as he is?", "Why can't I reach the same level?", "What's wrong with me?"
On the one hand, for some people such comparisons can be good incentives and cause a desire to be better and achieve more, but at the same time they can increase jealousy and negative emotions. You begin to feel insecure, not valuable enough, and this undermines both your self-esteem and your attitude towards yourself.
Male and female jealousy: what is the difference?
Now let's look at the difference between male and female jealousy, because men and women can show jealousy in different ways.
Male jealousy is more often associated with the sexual aspect of a relationship. Men may react aggressively to specific indicators of "cheating," such as flirting or women behaving too friendly with other men. They may experience strong emotions, including aggression and a desire to protect their territory.
Female jealousy is more often associated with the emotional aspect. Women, as a rule, are more susceptible to emotional connections between a partner and other women.
They experience feelings of loneliness, inadequacy and uselessness when they feel that their partner is in a close emotional relationship with other women.
It is important to note that jealousy is a natural emotion that can cause different reactions in different people. Sociocultural factors also greatly influence how jealousy is expressed. Specific situations, expectations, and values in different cultures can influence how we interpret and experience jealousy. To effectively manage jealousy, it is important to pay attention first to your needs and mental health, communicate openly, and strive for mutual understanding and trust in relationships.
