1. Start by discussing the problem. To be heard, follow these simple rules.
Psychologist Elizaveta Vasilyeva told how to avoid divorce.
- Don't criticize.
- Don't interrupt.
- Don't shout.
- Don't insult.
- Don't bring up past grievances unless they are relevant to the current situation.
- Don't blame, just talk about how you feel.
Choose a good place and time for the conversation. For example, if your partner came home tired from work and wants to sleep, bothering him with conversation is not the best idea.
To talk, it is better to have strength and be free, so that nothing distracts you.
You can start the conversation with words of love and gratitude to your partner: “Thank you, honey, for being willing to discuss problems with me. I love you.”
Advice: To avoid a crisis, discuss problems as soon as they arise.
2. Come up with a strategy
So, you've discussed your feelings and grievances with each other. Develop a strategy: what can you do right now to improve the situation?
Go through each of the difficulties. Remember, you are not against each other, but together against the problem.
3. Take responsibility
Don't shift everything onto your other half. You've already agreed on something, but she still hasn't started doing it? Don't rush to evaluate other people's actions. Be wise, take the first step yourself.
Only if both partners make an effort will it be possible to cope.
4. Bring back the romance
Think back to the beginning of your relationship. How did you spend your time? Add dates to your life.
Some couples enjoy going for walks together, if you do too, then incorporate at least three walks together into your week, just the two of you.
Some people like to watch movies together or do puzzles together. Find a leisure activity that you both enjoy and add it to your schedule. Important: no discussions of conflicts during this time, talk about neutral topics.
5. Respect each other's feelings
Sometimes it is unclear why your other half reacts so sharply or even gets upset over a “trifle”. Do not discount these experiences.
We are all individuals, and what seems ordinary to you may be something very significant for someone else.
6. Try to temporarily separate
This is a fairly common practice for couples who find it difficult to be with each other. Don't consider this the end of the relationship.
Imagine that you started dating again and can build a stronger family.
7. See a psychologist
You can seek individual consultation if you feel that you no longer have the strength to “fight”.
A psychologist will provide the necessary support and resources, and will help you see those aspects of the situation that you do not notice.
You can also contact a family counselor together with your partner. The specialist will help moderate the communication process so that you can talk and find a solution to the problem.
Divorce is not an easy decision, but it can be avoided if both partners want it and make an effort. Everything will work out!
