When your husband glances at women passing by or simply stares at some lady at a corporate party, it becomes offensive and sad.
Why does he do this "while his wife is still alive"? Has he fallen out of love? Well, indeed, a man has several reasons for such "viewings", says Pavel Rakov, an expert of the online publication "Belnovosti", a psychologist, coach, and creator of the cult training "In fact, I am smart, but I live like a fool".
1. There is discord in the relationship
It's one thing when a husband calmly looks at a strange girl, as he usually looks at any passers-by. After all, you also have the right to stare at other people - both men and women. This is pure curiosity and control of the situation. What if someone gives off a sense of danger?
But when your husband simply devours another beauty with his gaze, dropping his eyes down to her cleavage and below, it’s worth thinking about. Perhaps your relationship has entered a cooling phase.
You have stopped paying due attention to your partner, have become a caring mother or have switched exclusively to raising children and work. In this case, your faithful will look for a way to satisfy his male needs, if not by open betrayal, then at least by such “innocent” entertainment.
2. He fell out of love
As soon as a man understands that he has fallen out of love, he begins to consider himself a free man. And such a man can calmly look at girls, because one day he will definitely tell his wife about divorce. He will just look at this woman first, then at that one... In fact, he is already latently looking for a replacement for you, noting in the types what attracts him. Why not immediately declare your faded feelings?
Firstly, not all men understand this right away, some resist the situation. Secondly, often the representatives of the stronger sex wait for a convenient opportunity. And thirdly, there are such specimens who want to shift the responsibility for the breakup onto the wife.
He behaves disgustingly, makes you jealous, so let his partner decide his (and her own) fate.
3. You are a very convenient woman.
There are WAPM girls, insidious seductresses, cute babes, real guys, and there are very convenient women. They always carry the entire household, raising children, and sometimes even earn twice as much as a man. At the same time, they are always well-groomed, faithful, not jealous and generally well-versed in bed pleasures. You may not love such ladies, but they are convenient to be with.
They most often build codependent relationships, therefore they turn a blind eye to manipulation and betrayal. That is why the husband next to such a lady will always look at other girls. A convenient wife will definitely forgive with the hackneyed phrase: "Well, men are polygamous after all!"
4. My husband has a very high libido.
Yes, such representatives of the stronger sex are not uncommon. In bed, they need more, and also more often, higher, faster, stronger. Not every partner can withstand the temperament of such a man. He can have, indeed, the most tender feelings for his wife, respect her as a person, adore her as a mother of his children, but... Libido will still outweigh in some cases.
It is not necessary that such a gentleman will go on a trip to the left, but he will definitely not stop looking at the girls passing by. Perhaps he himself is uncomfortable with this, but, alas, until he decides to get treatment, everything will remain unchanged.
5. This is an acquired reaction.
Boys form their character in the family and in communication with other representatives of the stronger sex - their peers, authoritative adults, and also by looking at artistic images of typical machos. And in the male world, it is customary to look at girls, because this is an indicator of masculinity.
And such behavior is encouraged and reinforced in childhood or adolescence. Your spouse may be a sedate monogamist, but some worm inside will surely whisper: "Look at her! What are you? Aren't you a man or something?"
In order for your husband not to look at other women, you will have to figure out the above reasons and try to eliminate them. However, one of them is ineradicable. Alas, if a man's feelings have cooled, you are unlikely to be able to do anything. Unless you have a heart-to-heart talk and understand why this happened. As a rule, faded love is rarely restored. And is it worth your efforts?
However, in the first case, when discord has emerged, the problem can be solved. Remember that you are a woman, beautiful, passionate and tender. Start, as in the good old days, to pay due attention to your husband. And be sure to talk to him about the distribution of household responsibilities.
Perhaps the reason for the cooling is your overload and fatigue. Do not hesitate to ask for help, and also delegate your powers to loved ones.
Someone will have to reconsider their priorities and stop being a convenient woman. Start living your own life, find time for yourself and do not completely dissolve in your partner. Remember, men are ignited by a woman's inner fire, her interest in life and in herself. If you lack the strength to get out of codependency and the position of a victim, then you should contact a psychologist or psychotherapist.
Sooner or later, you will have to calmly talk to your husband who has a very high libido. Tell him about your feelings, discuss options for action, but do not pressure him or demand that he urgently contact a specialist.
The spouse must make the decision about treatment himself. The same method - a thorough conversation - should be used if your partner has absorbed such behavior since childhood. It is quite possible that he will begin to control his behavior himself, getting rid of ingrained patterns. After all, any representative of the stronger sex is determined not by the number of women who have been in his life, but by his character, talents and abilities.
