When people are in love, they sometimes don't notice that they are in the role of a victim. Business psychologist and clinical psychologist Stanislav Sambursky warns that when you become emotionally dependent on your partner, your self-esteem also falls.
Such relationships are called toxic, and it is quite difficult to get out of them.
The partner does not value his victim, does not respect her, there is no point in talking about love in such a couple. You need to get out of such a relationship, and the sooner the better.
The first thing you need to do is understand and accept that the relationship is toxic.
10 Signs of a Toxic Relationship
You feel that life without a partner is devoid of happiness and meaning. Being in love is always wonderful, but only if it is mutual. Often, the one who loves closes his eyes to the shortcomings and inappropriate behavior of the partner. Feels offended, but continues to be in a toxic relationship.
Most often, this concerns women on maternity leave. They understand that something is wrong, but they are afraid to be left alone, especially with a child in their arms. To understand how to live on, you should spend a few days alone and analyze your partner's behavior. Perhaps this is not a toxic relationship, but simply bad parenting.
The partner constantly talks about your shortcomings and that he is ready to put up with them. This greatly affects self-esteem. Also, some men may say that if the relationship ends, no one will need you with a child.
Your partner feels great in the relationship and enjoys life. At this time, you constantly feel guilty and try to make every effort to improve the attitude towards yourself.
You can't have a heart-to-heart talk, discuss your feelings and emotions. Your partner constantly asks you to leave him alone and leave him alone. He doesn't want to deal with the problems that have arisen in the relationship.
One of the main signs of a toxic relationship is low self-esteem, self-loathing, and a constant feeling of inferiority. And this is exactly what your partner convinces you of. When you are around him, you feel like a victim. And he acts as if this is normal.
Your partner manipulates you, and you try not to upset him. Therefore, you often make decisions to your own detriment, out of fear of being alone. Most often, such victims are women who are on maternity leave and financially dependent on their spouse or loved one.
The future of your relationship is unclear, you do not make plans together, you hardly communicate. He only makes claims against you, and completely without reason. It seems to you that he is just picking on you, and this is true. You are no longer moving in the same direction, as it was at the beginning of the relationship. He tries to avoid talking about a future together, and you think that everything can still be changed, you are afraid of losing him.
Your partner constantly makes offensive jokes about you, makes barbs, and this is a sign of a toxic relationship in a couple. After all, jokes should be kind and funny. Perhaps it's time to think about it.
Your feeling of resentment is constantly growing, but you keep silent about it and say nothing to your partner, because more than anything in the world you are afraid of losing him. Over time, the feeling of resentment grows into disappointment, and you yourself begin to think that it is time to stop torturing yourself. You begin to think about how to get out of a toxic relationship with the least losses for yourself.
The most important sign is considered to be emotional swings. When the partner does not respect the feelings of the other at all and shows only his emotional outbursts. Moreover, obvious aggression is replaced by a surge of tenderness and love. But then again it turns to irritation.
It is very difficult to live like this. Violent conflicts and tender reconciliations are signs of a toxic relationship that will not end on its own. You need to find the strength in yourself and decide to break it off.
It is recommended not to turn a blind eye to toxic relationships, because by and large people do not change. This means that the victim will constantly experience stress and guilt, undermining their emotional state and health. The partner, on the contrary, will parasitize and suppress their victim, - Stanislav Sambursky, business psychologist, clinical psychologist.
