The mother and father of a child who has suffered a defeat in a sports competition or subject Olympiad are no less worried than their child.
In such a situation, parents want to comfort their son or daughter.
But it is important to do this in a way that does not deprive the child of motivation.
So what should you say to a child who has lost so that he or she will stop being upset but continue to strive to win?
What Parents Shouldn't Say to a Losing Child
First, let's start with popular but unfortunate phrases. Do not under any circumstances say this to a child who failed to win first place.
"You were the best. You were just judged wrong." There is no need to blame the judges. This approach is fraught with the fact that the child will forget how to correctly evaluate and analyze what is happening. It will seem to him that he is doing everything right, but he is "deprived of victory."
"No need to worry! So what if I lost... Don't get upset over any nonsense." Such remarks are good only if the child is engaged in a particular sport only for pleasure. But if the child's goal is to achieve serious results, then it is not worth "devaluing" the competition, otherwise the child will simply lose motivation.
"You have talent. Next time you will definitely succeed." The problem is that "next time" the child may fail again. And then the disappointment will be "double".
"You performed poorly. There was no way you could win." Yes, these phrases sound pretty harsh. That's why you shouldn't say them. But in essence, these lines are, oddly enough, the closest to the correct version. You just need to choose the right words.
What Parents Should Say to a Losing Child
Don't hide from your child that his performance wasn't the best. Don't say that other participants performed worse, and don't blame the judges.
Don't promise your child victory "next time." Better set your child up for work. At the same time, don't be afraid to console your son or daughter.
After a child's loss, parents should give a speech that goes something like this: "We understand that you are upset. You trained so hard, but you still lost. We are very sorry. But understand that your performance was not perfect. Many other participants were better. So far, you do not deserve to win. But if you continue to train hard, then perhaps you can get revenge. But it will not happen right away."
