Every woman and mother wants her child to be well-behaved, obedient and for everything to work out for him.
But sometimes everything happens exactly the opposite - the child is capricious, fights, throws tantrums, and does not listen to comments.
At some point, the mother's patience runs out and she starts yelling at the child.
In fact, her anger is not always directed exclusively at the culprit, but rather at herself - she didn’t pay attention, explained incorrectly, inspired disgust (to cleaning, to food, to good manners).
What should a mother do instead of scolding her child?
Say a few phrases:
1. "I love you." This phrase actually works wonders. Hearing it, the child rejoices, his mood rises, he is ready to literally move mountains. If his mother loves him, then nothing is scary.
This instills the understanding that love is unconditional. That is, they love not for something, but just like that. It is bad when a child tries to somehow deserve a good attitude - this means that he was never loved in essence.
2. "Always tell me the truth." With these words, parents seem to show that they are ready to accept the child with all his strengths and weaknesses.
He is not afraid of condemnation, abuse and assault, because there is only trust in his father and mother. And when something really serious happens, the child is sure: parents can always help if they tell the truth, and not make up stories.
Unfortunately, not every family can boast of such a relationship.
3. "Try again." Even if the child clearly can't do something (solve a problem, learn a paragraph, tidy up the room), don't scold him, but suggest not to give up, try.
It is important for a person when they believe in him, even if he is still very young. He worries, is afraid, and his mother encourages him, supports him with words and a kind smile.
4. "I have confidence in you." Children very rarely hear this. More often than not, the opposite happens: parents scold, call the child talentless, incapable, stupid.
It's even worse when they set you up for failure in advance: "You'll still get a bad grade on your test, as usual." Where will motivation and the desire for self-improvement come from? It's easier to give up on yourself, especially if even the closest people doubt something good.
5. "Don't be upset. I know you didn't mean to do it. Try to learn from it." No child is immune to mistakes.
They stumble, in some cases behave inappropriately (argue with classmates, teachers, relatives, upset parents). Often the child experiences strong emotions upon realizing this - cries, refuses to eat, locks himself in his room.
The parents' task is to calm him down, to reassure him, to cheer him up. You can't leave him alone with a feeling of guilt and, even more so, to make it worse: "You always ruin everything!", "I don't need a child like that!" You can try to get him to have a frank conversation to clarify the situation.
It is important not to make a common parental mistake - to pay attention only to the child's bad behavior and focus on his mistakes.
When he behaves well, demonstrates success in his studies, he should be praised. The cliche that praise makes children relax and stop trying is completely wrong.
No one has ever had problems from kind words; on the contrary, it increases the desire to continue in the same spirit and make parents happy.
Otherwise, what you get is not a family, but some semblance of a working relationship: a bonus is given for excellent work, and a reprimand is given for poor work.
Previously, we talked about why our views on romance change with age.
