Any word said by an adult can affect the mental state of a child, since a person is often very vulnerable and susceptible in childhood.
Sometimes even one phrase can undermine your self-confidence, dampen your enthusiasm, or inspire you, pushing you to new achievements.
But adults need to get rid of toxic attitudes, especially towards children, because most often this happens due to their own fears and insecurities.
So what shouldn't you tell your children if you want a better future for them?
Stop comparing
There is no need to compare him with other people, because this is how parents belittle their child’s own dignity, not perceiving him as an individual.
Such words simply show the child that someone else, and not he, has more weight in the eyes of the parent, that someone else is loved and respected more.
Because of this, resentment can grow in the child’s soul, a feeling that he is wrong, that he does not deserve love and any attention.
By comparing their child with someone else, a parent simply teaches the latter to be envious of the achievements of other children, and in the future, of other people.
Aren't you ashamed!
Parents think that with such phrases they can shame their children, forcing them to obey.
But in reality, this only develops feelings of insecurity, fear, and helplessness. Often, such children will begin to lie and avoid communicating with adults.
This blatant manipulation, the purpose of which is to evoke a feeling of guilt, may result in the child’s lack of initiative in the future.
The best thing to say in such cases is: "I don't like that you behave like that. Next time, please try not to do that again."
"If you do this, I'll buy you this..."
Although these words have their impact, unfortunately, they have a short-term effect.
The child is simply bribed to do something for material reward, and this is not quite the right approach.
It is best when everything in the family is built on mutual assistance, support for each other, and sympathy.
In the case of a child, this could be banal praise or a hug for something done.
Motivation must be within the child and not expressed in monetary terms.
Because this is how children grow up independent and responsible and achieve success in life.
"I'll do it myself!"
A phrase like this can kill any desire children have to help their parents in any way.
The child will also become passive in making independent decisions, and subsequently will not want to achieve anything and will not strive for self-realization.
Parents should not be afraid that their child will not be able to cope with the task at hand, but on the contrary, they should entrust the child with the task and allow him to make mistakes.
There are no ideal people! And the task of adults is not excessive care of the child, but help in developing their strengths and creative potential.
"He's a shy guy!"
If parents want to raise their children to be sociable, then they should remove this phrase from their vocabulary. Such a phrase, along with shaming the child for being unsociable, always has the opposite effect.
Such criticism of children should be eliminated and they should simply be allowed to communicate with as many peers as possible and participate in various competitions, contests and clubs.
"Stop being capricious!"
With such a phrase, parents seem to forbid their children to splash out their feelings and emotions, which can result in isolation and distrust of adults.
Emotion is a very important energy in a person that must be embodied in life.
Without its implementation, psychosomatic diseases and mental nervous disorders can develop.
Children just need to be allowed to express their emotions, and then ask what upset him (outraged him, offended him, etc.) so much.
"I'm doing all this just for you!"
This is the most beloved toxic phrase that so many parents say to their children, making them feel like ungrateful people.
Showing your self-sacrifice for the sake of the child and shifting responsibility for your actions, just for the fact that the child exists, forms a sense of duty and obedience in the latter.
But a child is not at all to blame for the actions that adults and completely independent people perform. He is just a little person who should not be held accountable for the voluntary actions performed by his parents.
Adults should always be careful about the words they use when communicating with children.
After all, with the wrong words you can lose your authority in the eyes of the child, which in the future can result in a complete disregard for the demands of the parent.
To avoid this, you need to communicate with him confidentially, if possible without any reproaches or emotional pressure.
A child should be loved as he is, without regard for others, and respected as an individual. Only this is a guarantee of his development as a full-fledged person who will be able to achieve his goals in the future.
Previously, phrases were named that can make a child hate his parents.
