Teenagers are mysterious creatures who are looking for their way in this world. And what secret of self-determination do teenagers hide from us? Let me tell you about what they think, but do not dare to say out loud.
Psychotherapist Denis Makarovsky told what is most important for a teenager.
Searching for oneself or struggling with endless uncertainty? Teenagers explore the world of their interests, hobbies and values. They can literally change their beliefs like gloves, and that's okay. After all, self-determination is not a destination, but a journey.
Parents, beware! Your teenager may embrace values that shock you. And that's okay, too! It's important to support them even when you don't understand why they suddenly want to become a rock star or an urban lunatic subculture explorer.
Education: A Chance or a Torture? School is important, but sometimes teenagers wonder why they need it at all. You have to help them see how education can be the key to their dreams. Notice how they argue with you until they're blue in the face, and then they talk to their peers, repeating your arguments word for word. That's okay, that's how it works.
Friends or enemies? For teenagers, friendship is everything. And they are willing to go to great lengths to be part of a community. Support them in choosing friends and help them develop social skills. Even questionable friends can play a good role in their lives. Without experience, there is no progress.
Conflicts: An Insurmountable Obstacle or a Chance to Grow? Conflicts can arise from cultural differences and misunderstandings. But they can also be lessons and opportunities for growth. Teach your teens how to resolve conflicts with respect for other points of view.
How not to lose yourself in all this? Self-determination is a complex process, but that is precisely its value. Support your teenager in his search, help him realize his values and set priorities.
Your job is to be there. It's important to be there for them when they need support and give them space to express themselves.
Remember that adolescence is a time of experimentation and discovery, and the role of a parent in this process is key. Sometimes they just need to know that you support them, even if they choose a path that seems questionable to you. On this difficult path, the main thing is not to miss the chance.
