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From Love to Hate: 5 Phrases That Destroy Relationships
20.09.2024 19:36
Healthy relationships between a man and a woman are built on the basis of mutual trust, understanding and the ability to listen and hear.
However, just one phrase said during a quarrel or conflict can shake this foundation.
Psychologist Ksenia Matur has compiled a list of five phrases that destroy relationships.
A man should\a woman should
Let's not use the loud phrase "nobody owes anything to anyone," but in any relationship there should be agreements; a man and a woman can agree and compare their values.
If in a man’s family the mother did all the housework and the father did nothing, then most likely the man in his relationship will demand the same from the woman.
And it's good if the woman had the same and for her it's the norm, but it may be that in her family all the affairs were done together. What is good and right for one family may not be good and wrong for another.
Therefore, in any relationship, you need to agree and discuss the values and principles of life and building a daily life. There are no generally accepted norms - and you should not force your partner to fit some requirements and obligations.
I don't want to talk about it\let's not talk about it
At this moment, you devalue your partner and isolate yourself from him, as if you are telling him that he is not important to you, not valuable, and you do not want to know anything about him, and you do not want to establish and build a relationship with him.
You always\you never
Categorical phrases that have nothing to do with reality. For example, the phrase "you never do this" means "you rarely do this", and this is no longer never. And the phrase "you always do this" means "you often do this", and this is no longer always. By saying these phrases, you devalue the moments when the person did or did not do this. Categorical phrases always worsen relationships.
And I told you
Recalling what you said and pointing out that you are right and the person was wrong is a bad way to a trusting and respectful relationship. At this point, you put yourself in a position of being strong and smart, and your partner in a position of being weak and stupid. The same can be said about recalling some not very pleasant situations and mistakes of your partner - this will only cause discontent and irritation towards you.
But Masha/Petya... are cooler, stronger, richer, etc.
Comparing your partner or your family with others, especially to your disadvantage, will not strengthen your relationship, but will only make it worse.
In addition to a worsened relationship, your partner's self-esteem will also be shaken. No one likes comparison, so do everything so that neither you nor your partner compare each other and yourselves to other people.
Additional recommendation - talk to each other calmly, respectfully, confidentially and calmly. And listen attentively, respectfully, calmly. Learn to negotiate, not compete with each other, be partners.
