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Anxious, Secure, Avoidant: All About Attachment Types in Plain English
04.05.2024 15:45
Attachment theory was developed by the English psychiatrist and psychoanalyst John Bowlby, according to which attachment is a basic biological human need to interact with a significant person.
Psychologists distinguish three main types of attachment: secure, anxious, and avoidant (sometimes anxious-avoidant is added to them).
Secure attachment type
A child who has developed a secure attachment type is upset when his mother leaves him, but quickly switches to, for example, toys or other children in kindergarten.
If we talk about the adult age that interests us, then such a person easily and with pleasure enters into close and trusting relationships, feeling comfortable in this. He is not afraid to show his emotions, to be sincere and vulnerable. Another typical feature is independence: such a person is not afraid of the thought that he will be left alone.
Anxious attachment style
Children with an anxious attachment style constantly need closeness with another person - they need confirmation of their need and importance, so they often do everything possible to please their parents.
The same can be said about an adult - only he no longer pleases his parents, but his partner. He constantly wants closeness, experiences jealousy and has a hard time with separation, but it also happens that being in the company of his partner does not bring him pleasure.
Avoidant attachment style
Because people with this type are afraid of being abandoned or are afraid of becoming completely immersed in their partner, they are intolerant of intimacy in relationships.
If you were to describe such partners, then such epithets as selfish and detached would be suitable for them. You may not offer them help – they will not accept it anyway.
Earlier we listed5 signs that a man does not love a woman.
