Family Crises: How to Talk and Listen to Each Other
Family crises are a natural part of the life of every couple and family as a whole. Crises can arise for various reasons, for example: financial (economic changes that have occurred in the family), changes in the structure of everyday life, constant conflicts between family members, etc.
It is very important not to allow the family crisis to worsen, it is necessary to learn to listen and hear each other, so that each family member can correctly convey their thoughts and needs, speak openly and sincerely. And at the moment of crisis, try not to act on emotions, but first of all to understand your own emotions and needs.
The most basic problem in family crises is a lack of communication, in other words, when family members stop communicating with each other, distance themselves from each other and do not openly say what they like and what they don’t like, hoping that it will somehow work itself out, dissipate, says Mariam Vladimirovna Fatueva , a clinical psychologist and body therapist.
Very often people have difficulty expressing their emotions, feelings and thoughts. Family members also do not know how to listen to the opponent, hear him and understand what the person is trying to convey and what he wants. And thus, misunderstandings and conflicts only worsen.
In this case, communication skills will help, for example, “non-violent communication”, as well as the skill of assertiveness, that is, self-confidence.
It is very important to learn how to talk and listen to each other correctly. Here are some tips that can give you an understanding of how to effectively negotiate and hear each other.
- An open, trusting environment must be established.
- It is important that each family member feels safe when communicating, that their opinions and feelings are important.
- It is necessary to create a space for conversations where each family member would feel safe, for example, to gather every week for a couple of hours, so that everyone could speak out without fear of judgment. So that during these hours it would be possible to express everything that has accumulated in the soul.
- Show empathy during the conversation, try to put yourself in the other person's place and try to understand their point of view, delve into the situation. Try to communicate with your family as if with a stranger whom you want to help, as if the problem is not happening in your family, but with one of your friends. This will help you to be more tolerant and understanding.
- A good skill is active listening. Listen with an open mind. Don't just listen, but actively participate in the conversation. Confirm that you understand the feelings and point of view of the other person, ask clarifying questions, and give as much feedback as possible.
- In a conversation, do not accuse under any circumstances, avoid reproaches and accusations. Criticism and accusations will only increase negative emotions and inflame the conflict.
- Focus on the feelings of the other person and your own, on the expression of your feelings and on how the interlocutor expresses feelings. Avoid mutual reproaches and claims.
- Try to find joint solutions and compromises that will satisfy both parties or all family members.
- When you communicate as a family, it is a team effort that will help you solve the problem more effectively.
Family crises can happen to anyone, the main thing is to learn how to deal with them effectively. This is a difficult job on yourself, but if you want, everyone can cope with it.
Crises can cause a lot of negative emotions, but by learning to talk and listen to each other, a family can overcome any difficulties together.
And if you are unable to cope on your own, do not hesitate to contact specialists, such as a psychotherapist or psychologist, who can help you solve the problem by delving deeper into the crisis situation.
