Psychologist Elena Kobzeva told how to cope with jealousy
It is worth knowing the enemy in person to understand how to deal with him. Jealousy should be considered from many sides, this will allow you to find ways out and get rid of it.
Psychologist Elena Kobzeva told how to cope with jealousy.
"Did you say your prayers tonight, Desdemona?" - we often use this famous cry as a joke, forgetting about the sad outcome of this relationship.
The reason was jealousy, although many will brush it off and say: "Nonsense! Everyone is jealous. There is no relationship without jealousy. You can't kill."
You can't argue with the position that everyone is jealous. Moreover, jealousy manifests itself not only in people, but also in animals, birds, i.e. in creatures that have feelings.
What feelings give rise to jealousy? The answer comes immediately: love. Only this is a delusion, love may be present, but it is not the root cause that gives rise to jealousy.
In the first place is the sense of ownership - this is mine, and another has no right to encroach on mine. I am the owner and sole proprietor, I protect, defend, preserve, cherish, hide from other people's eyes what is mine. The other participant in the relationship is also an owner, but with less dominance.
This may mean that the value of losing the relationship is low. It is highly likely that the person is looking for another partner and perceives the current relationship as temporary and not serious.
His behavior is characterized by a desire for freedom, non-compliance with rules, indulgence in requests, and even ignoring common affairs.
Such indifference is often observed, but the second partner turns a blind eye to it, relying on his sincere love and faith that everything will change.
Depending on the temperament, jealousy in the loving party can manifest itself in different ways. The person withdraws into himself and suffers silently, creating a tense atmosphere and conflict within himself.
Such relationships result in depression. Internal dejection affects the external environment and atmosphere, the relationship ceases to be friendly. And if nothing prevents the other person from leaving, a separation occurs.
Here it is important not to build castles in the air that your relationship is great. See the obvious signs described above, which speak for themselves. You are more friends, like-minded people, and not a married couple.
Jealousy will not save you, but will destroy you, trample your feelings and create a destructive relationship experience.
It is much more difficult where there is a dependence on the person who is jealous in the relationship. This dependence, like hypnosis, acts on the victim, completely paralyzing him.
Dependence can be different: fear of loneliness, low self-esteem, children, housing and much more. There is a justification factor: I live and put up with jealousy for the sake of...
A sacrifice that is absolutely useless to anyone except the victim itself. The question arises: where did this image of a victim come from, which has become habitual?
The victim's behavior goes back to childhood, that's where the behavioral factor is laid down. It's worth contacting a specialist who can work through the victim's built-in strategy and create new life models.
Only when the environment is familiar to you does it become natural, and there is no desire to leave it.
In such relationships, jealousy turns from a feeling into actions, beatings occur, and if this is not enough, then more serious actions.
It is worth finding the strength in yourself to live not for the convenience of someone else, but to pay attention to yourself, because life is one, and it is priceless.
Jealousy is never harmless. It always causes suffering and pain. In children, jealousy manifests itself in emotional experiences. Sometimes the careless actions of parents raise jealousy in a child.
Not receiving enough attention, affection, love, care, the child begins to be jealous of a person, work, hobby and interests. Adults have no idea that this can happen. The child has a huge inner world, both harmonious and opposing.
Inner voices set against parents, their activities, inform that the child is not needed and abandoned. A conflict occurs in the child that is unresolvable for him.
He is not up to such tasks, he withdraws into himself, with aggression, snaps, disobeys, expresses protest and disagreement with the world. This is worth paying attention to, but many believe that he will outgrow it.
The question is where it will grow into and how it can manifest itself. Children always need adults, they are responsible for their child and his happy future. Always and for everything devote time to your relationship with your child. There is no smoke without fire.
Parents are the closest and most reliable friends.
Jealousy in clinical psychology is an incurable disease. Having met a person in whom jealousy is a common action, do not stay close. The consequences of such relationships can have different nature.
Jealousy manifests itself towards everything and without any reason. It appears out of nowhere, just like that. An undefined impulse creates a biochemical process of aggression in the brain structures.
In a weak form, emotions and lack of restraint, in a strong form, rage that cannot be contained. Proverb: from love to hate is one step. Jealousy flares up in an instant and often destroys, causing pain, suffering and torment.
Only a person who is aware of jealousy within himself can eradicate it.
This is the path of great self-control and will.
There are those who will say that jealousy fuels relationships.
Relationships are a huge work of both partners, where dignity towards each other gives love, harmony, mutual understanding, mutual respect, support, care.
Jealousy is an accusation of betrayal of feelings, actions and deeds. Do not stoop to the level of humiliation of each other, if you see that the other does not correspond to your understanding of the relationship, make a worthy decision and end it.
Ready to accept, live and do not humiliate the other, accepting all the advantages and disadvantages. Peace and harmony to your home!
