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Psychologist Tatyana Kostareva told how to survive unrequited love
11.08.2023 21:14
Love is a word that excites many people, regardless of age.
Psychologist Tatyana Kostareva told how to survive unrequited love.
Children are concerned about their parents' love, and at an older age we begin to be concerned about our partner's love and such a new concept as self-love.
When we meet a person. The first emotions inside us are delight, joy, excitement, amazing stories and thoughts are drawn in the head about how wonderful your future together will be.
Indeed, it often happens that both partners, when meeting or communicating, begin to experience similar feelings and emotions, hence the desire to build a relationship with this particular person.
But, there are exceptions to the rule when the partner does not reciprocate and then this concept is usually called "Unrequited love"
Let's figure out how unrequited love manifests itself:
1. You have chosen, for example, an inaccessible person as a partner. He may be married, in a long-term relationship.
2. A person can be a Star, a famous medical personality, who is inaccessible, but it seems to you that he is the love of your life.
3. The person may live far away. Too far from you, say in America or Canada, and you understand that it is impossible for you to meet him.
4. A very difficult option is when the object of love is chosen from a person who is in prison, with the longest possible term, then the chances of reciprocity are also very low.
The amazing thing about this story is that all these 4 types of unrequited love are united by a common Benefit. It is the Personal Benefit that drives the person who chooses Unrequited Love:
1. Suffering is a special kind of energy that, oddly enough, gives pleasure.
2. Lack of confidence in yourself and your attractiveness enough to enter into a real relationship, then the object is chosen to be an unavailable person
3. Lack of Self-Love. When we don't love ourselves, we subconsciously think that others can't love us either, so we again choose a partner labeled "Forbidden"
4. Forbidden fruit is sweet - this is an old expression, for some reason many people use it in the context of relationships, and then a married man or a married girl seem more attractive than potential free partners.
How to work on the topic "Unrequited love":
1. The main thing is self-love. Accept that this topic requires your work and attention and turn to specialists, read books, listen to lectures and finally understand that the most wonderful person in your life is yourself.
When there is an awareness that I am Good Enough or Good enough, then a partner comes for such a wonderful feeling as Mutual love.
2. Write down on a piece of paper all the Benefits that you see for yourself in Unrequited Love in one column, and in the next column write down all the benefits that will await you in a mutual relationship
3. Clearly understand what you expect from a partner and a relationship, you can also write a list of those qualities that are important in a partner for mutual relationships
4. The most important thing is to describe how you will feel and behave in a relationship in which you love and are loved in the same way.
Well, and most importantly, remember that mutual love is a wonderful feeling that cannot be replaced by any suffering for the objects of unrequited love.
