Psychologist Alexander Larionov told whether it is worth forgiving betrayal
The topic of betrayal is as old as the world; in ancient cultures, even on cave paintings, scenes of the murder of a wife or husband for betrayal were depicted, so humanity has been well acquainted with this problem for more than one thousand years.
Psychologist Alexander Larionov explained whether it is worth forgiving betrayal.
Psychology is one of the youngest sciences with a history of 150 years. During this time, a lot of experience, research and observations have been accumulated that can be of help.
We've all heard about the four phases of crisis: anger, denial, bargaining, and acceptance. What are these stages and how do they relate to the phenomenon of cheating?
Anger. The first stage is a harsh reaction to what is happening. A person does not control their emotions towards their partner. Here it is important to switch, to distract yourself, not to try to analyze the situation of betrayal, to let the body and psyche take the blow.
Denial. This is a state when a person begins to doubt whether it is true that he or she was cheated on. Maybe it is some kind of false denunciation?
At this stage, it is important to believe only reliable information, not to make up assumptions, but to check the facts.
Bargaining. At this stage, you agree on further actions with yourself and your partner. Are you ready to forgive? If so, on what terms? How do you tell your partner and will he or she be able to accept these terms?
Acceptance. This stage is very individual, as the fear of a repeat of the situation depends on the length of the couple's life together, as well as each partner's experience and life philosophy. In the later phases of this stage, the situation should stabilize.
In this case, it is worth considering two possible scenarios: a break in the relationship (loss of a partner, being left alone) or maintaining the relationship (loss of faith in oneself, loss of trust in people, shame or guilt in front of relatives).
As a rule, it is possible to decide on a strategy at stage 3-4, when emotions have subsided and an adequate decision can be made.
Depending on the chosen scenario, you need to start from your values and assessment of what you might lose if you end the relationship or save it.
