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Psychologist Irena Tsaava explained why love passes
25.06.2023 21:09
Who decided that she was passing? Did you escort her out of your house yourself? No)
Psychologist Irena Tsaava explained why love passes.
But a question of a different nature, what is happening to her, will do just fine! And I will tell you what is happening to her.
Let's start with what is love (between two people)?
Behind the feeling of love lies a sense of happiness and change in oneself; in the end, it is not the person who is loved, but the way I am next to this person!
Girls feel more beautiful, desirable and needed, boys and men increase their importance, strength, as well as their importance and need.
Example: there lived a girl, she went to university, then home, studied and on weekends she went out to a cafe with her friends.
And then one day she notices how the guy at the next table is looking at her intently, and then her body is enveloped by a new feeling, it’s nice, she was noticed (and in childhood there wasn’t enough of it, her parents were working or they didn’t have time for the child at all, and if there were younger children, then they didn’t have time for her at all).
Knows the guy? No! He may not be attractive at all, BUT! The fact that he makes her feel important and needed starts to attract her, and she gives a response in the form of a smile!
The mirror effect kicks in: you to me, I to you! And that's how love is born.
Over time, this begins to subside, because everything becomes more familiar, habitual and seemingly not so interesting!
Everyone has their own activities, you don’t want to spend so much time with each other, and when you do, it’s a cool TV series, work, children, friends, phone, etc.
What's really going on?
People are attracted to each other, and yet all relationships seem to fade over time, there is more discontent, nagging, silence, secrets.
Each of the couple becomes a reflection of the partner's inner world! How is that? Have you heard the expression: "Children are the mirror of the family"? It's true! And also, the husband is the reflection of the wife, and the wife is the reflection of the husband. Only the inner world is reflected!
For example, a husband constantly beats his wife, doesn't give her money, doesn't help her at home, and constantly humiliates her. She is always unhappy. But he was a good guy and grew up in a decent family.
And she grew up in a good family, her mom and dad loved her, what is this? Misfortune, jinxed?
No, it’s just that this girl had a certain event in her childhood that was recorded in the subconscious as a scenario of abandonment, uselessness, with a feeling of guilt, shame and her own worthlessness, insignificance and insignificance.
And having met after 1-2 years, they become a reflection of each other, the husband, in order to reflect the wife’s scenario, “must” “show” her, completely unconsciously, what is inside her.
And his dad was always unhappy with him: he either didn’t study well, or he smacked his lips loudly, or he didn’t even look like a guy.
Our brain is designed in such a way that it is important for it that all scenarios are played out for awareness and change; this is human evolution.
So the husband reflects the scenario to her, directly SHOWING what is inside her. And she, of course, doesn't like it, they are hitting her where it hurts! And she responds to him with displeasure, reflecting it)
It’s just difficult to realize that this pain is internal, hers (his), and he (she) is just a reflector!
Therefore, it is easier to break up, get divorced or endure than to work on the relationship, understand and realize that no one is to blame, it is just important to sort it out.
This is a real case from practice, and there are thousands of them.
If one of the couple starts working with a psychologist, the other one changes too. Why? Because the internal content of the mirror has changed)
Any relationship can be restored if there is a desire! I always tell my clients: "It is easy to destroy something at once, but not everyone can change and recreate it!
It’s better to try than to constantly attract something like this later (after all, the inner world hasn’t changed).
