Why do men choose simple women?
When discussing the topic, it is necessary to agree on the meanings - what is a "simple woman" and what is meant by "choose". The one who does not show off in bed? That is one thing. The one who is conventionally unattractive is another. Relatively accessible for male pleasures is a third.
Even if we assume that we are talking about a woman without an education, but who is suitable for a specific man in terms of her worldview, it turns out that in a long-term relationship of "two" mutual understanding is extremely important. This is an almost irreplaceable request for everyone, notes psychologist Andrei Kashkarov .
Moreover, not all men, especially those who have seen it all, choose “simple” women.
The reasons for the typical male choice are connected with the attitude towards women and their role function in the family that has been ingrained in the male consciousness for centuries; which is also confirmed in the books of the Bible. This is a mother, a daughter, a wife. Almost a rib (of Adam).
Whatever arguments a strong man (conditionally healthy from a medical point of view, in normal physical shape and with intact intellect) may present, whatever compliments he may say “in the ears”, he expects his significant role as a manager in the family – in exchange not only for the “charms” of a wife, the mother of his children (and the instinct of procreation is well developed in men), but also for all-round care for the woman, protection of the family from all adversity.
Recently I learned from a patient her opinion on the subject of choosing a man (and a woman); I will risk introducing it to you. "A man subconsciously treats a woman as "greater" to "lesser", and a woman - vice versa. He takes care of his chosen one, looks after, protects, and a woman - listens, respects and honors.
This is the essence of relationships - this is the model that is traditionally considered correct. Relationships satisfy the basic needs of both parties. The man gets recognition, and the girl gets protection and reliability." The opinion is quite controversial, although expert, and says a lot about how the woman sees the situation. Like any opinion - subjective.
A man in love, blinded by passion, may “not know” what exactly he wants. But he clearly knows what he does not want. Given the idea of a woman (typically) her subordinate role in the family, which is ingrained in his mind, regardless of her career success and earnings - he is convinced of this, although he does not say it out loud, so as not to offend the desired one (the reasons are the topic of another article), a man strives precisely for dominance. Even if in a specific situation it is not incontrovertible.
This is inherent in nature, and genes are also a factor of influence. If a man has to obey, he feels awkward; hence – betrayal, bad habits, passivity in providing for the family, etc.
Even men with unremarkable "forms", far from athletic (not all women need these forms in their beloved), of small stature, can have a strong spirit and a developed intellect. Again, the main thing is mutual understanding. And it is important for a man to feel himself in a dominant role. Well, tell me, why does he need a "second he" with a decisive character in the family, when for the harmonious development of a social unit, creating a "couple", people in another (oh) are looking for those character traits that they themselves do not have.
Therefore, the most correct in family role identification, the typical partnership is mutually inferior parties. The fear that "she is smarter than me" is not typical for a man. Much more prevalent is the fear that she, possessing competitive and visible to everyone else qualities of mind, beauty, character, wisdom or something else, "will not be faithful to me", therefore, the "rear", home, "hearth" and children, the continuation of the family - are in danger. Therefore, for a life of adventures, a status demonstration of success, a man prefers beauties, this is how his desire to win in a community of the same, a kind of social competition for the dominant, affects.
And for family life - the simpler the woman, the better. As they say, "if you're so smart, why don't you march in formation?" Another factor, clearly understood from the above: a man can't stand it when someone argues with him in general, and a woman - especially, using "cunning", as a woman thinks, methods (a man can read them perfectly, he's not a Pithecanthropus).
Therefore, a man strives for a conditional simplification in his choice, assuming that the "simpler" the woman, the more convenient it will be for him to dominate. But this is one of the male errors of obviousness. Because not only "simplicity is worse than theft", but it is also not a fact that behind a sweet modest woman ("in a still pool...") he will find an understanding and calm nature. It happens exactly the opposite.
