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How to Know When to End a Relationship and Get a Divorce
02.05.2023 19:16
Despite the fact that the number of divorces initiated by women is increasing, not all representatives of the fair sex immediately decide to take such a step.
Many are troubled by questions: "What about children without a father?", "What about me alone?", "Where should I go and what should I do?", "Maybe I shouldn't?" And, of course, doubts arise. What if a broken cup of a relationship can be glued back together?
However, there are 9 true signs (they are also reasons) when it is necessary to ignore public opinion with censure and refuse marriage, says Pavel Rakov - psychologist, coach. Creator of the cult training "In fact, I am smart, but I live like a fool."
Rumors about a divorced woman will always exist, but your safety and health should always come first. The gossips will sooner or later get tired, having found a new victim, and you will be able to restore your strength and enter a new happy life.
1. "Physical exercises"
Beating doesn't mean he loves. It's time to abandon this outdated and harmful proverb.
If a man starts doing "physical exercises" practicing blows on his wife, the latter should quickly pack her things. And it doesn't matter what it was - a slap, a fist in the face or blows to the soft spots so that the bruises under the clothes are not visible.
Just turn around and walk away from this "boxer"! Violence never comes from love, only from the weakness of character and the insecurity of the husband, who takes it out on the woman. The same applies to your children.
If your partner regularly humiliates them and hits them with a belt, a jump rope or with his hands, pushes them, gives them slaps and punches, run!
2. Dependencies
Many women try to heal addicts with their love. And it's completely in vain. Not a single alcoholic or drug addict has ever listened to the advice of his beloved. The same applies to gambling addicts and men who can't tear themselves away from computer games.
In fact, none of these types need a wife, except to serve him in everyday life and earn money for their "hobbies", with the help of which they escape from reality. But they must return to it exclusively themselves. So do not drag such partners into a happy life, it is better to go to it independently, without unnecessary burden.
3. Financial loop
As soon as you feel that the financial noose is tightening around your neck, get out of the relationship! How to understand this? Calculate your investments and your spouse's investments in the family. If your share is greater, then something is clearly going wrong.
At the same time, when you contribute your entire salary to the common budget, and then also beg your husband for money for the most necessary things, then this is a good reason to get divorced.
Also look at who ends up paying the mortgage and other loans, who actually pays them. And this is on your shoulders? So why do you need such a miser who simply does not allow you to live normally?
4. On-line control
Male controllers consider themselves leaders, but in reality they are simply trying to subordinate others to their desires. And it is easiest to do this with a spouse, since she is always at hand. She can be taught how to live, run a household, communicate with people, get rid of bad friends.
And a little later you notice that you start reporting to your husband about every little thing, apologizing for the traffic jams that delayed you from work, and immediately answering his calls and messages. Very often, control on the line goes hand in hand with jealousy and even with "physical exercises".
Alas, domestic tyrants rarely want to change anything in themselves. Therefore, just leave such a type alone, let him rule himself.
5. Hidden aggression
It would seem that your husband doesn’t drink, doesn’t smoke, and doesn’t beat you, even earns a good income and doesn’t spare money on food, household appliances, or the children’s development, but you feel that something is wrong.
Most likely, hidden aggression has blossomed in your family. It manifests itself in a man's unwillingness to help his other half when she suddenly falls ill with a fever, in a special boycott of shopping trips.
Some spouses deliberately bring the wrong products, without even looking at the list. Why? So that they won't be sent shopping anymore.
Some representatives of the stronger sex also practice verbal devaluation, completely ignoring the achievements of their wives. And, of course, when the opportunity arises, a man with hidden aggression will shift the blame and responsibility onto his partner. It was not he who did not stop by the car service, it was his wife who called at the wrong time, and that is why he forgot.
6. Triangle in a pair
When a couple turns into a triangle, it is worth thinking hard about preserving the relationship. You can forgive betrayal, but it will be more difficult to restore trust in your loved one. So gradually your life turns into a living hell, filled with doubts, jealousy and resentment. However, this geometric figure can be not only a love one.
Sometimes the third wheel is the husband's sister or mother. If your husband is under the strong influence of women or men in his family, then all the decisions he makes are actually dictated to him from above. He will not protect you from the attacks of your mother-in-law, he will not stop the backbiting of relatives, most often he will simply silently withdraw from the conflict.
It turns out that you married a person who, like a child, is dependent on the opinions of his elders and does not know how to live independently. And if nothing changes over time, then do you really need this marriage, in which you can always feel someone else's breath?
7. Incompatibility in bed
Yes, temperaments, as well as some physical data may not match, but adequate people can always agree. Talking about sex is important and necessary! Another thing is if your partner does not hear your wishes at all and repeatedly practices everything that you do not like. He does not strive to learn, he does not take into account your opinion, he simply grew up a total egoist who is only capable of taking.
It is unlikely that you will re-educate an adult who does not think at all about his wife's pleasure or belittles her abilities in bed. And even more so, violence in the intimate sphere is unacceptable! If you encounter this regularly, then there is a reason to pack your bag and go your separate ways.
8. Like in childhood
You think you're looking at a man? In reality, he may be a little boy who needs a mother, not a wife. She'll clean up the mess he makes after meeting his friends, feed him, give him something to drink, wash his clothes, and even wake him up and send him to work.
At the same time, such a representative of the stronger sex is in no hurry to play the role of a father. Why be an adult when there is a wife who performs the function of a parent? Let her earn, serve and make decisions.
And please shower your grown-up baby with unconditional love! Some women often discover after the birth of a child that their family has not one baby, but two. If you understand that it is easier for you without an infantile spouse, then tie up with this unproductive relationship.
9. Dislike
The last point is the simplest and at the same time the most difficult. After all, it is oh so difficult to understand what love is! But when falling in love has not developed into something higher, where there is a place for partnership, friendship, mutual understanding and development, then perhaps it is worth letting the man go.
A normal (precisely normal!) family and healthy relationships cannot be built on bare calculation alone. Give each other freedom and look for real feelings.
